Beethovan's finale

2010-05-10T22:36:00.003+08:00

I dont know how to reach you anymore. I dont know how to address you anymore. I really dont know a lot of things.BUT i do know that you're not disposable. You were never disposable. but.. i dont wanna explain anymore. i wanna remain friends. I wanna keep in contact. But.. *sigh*. I really dont know ..

One of the many things i want to say is..

2010-04-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

The real me is a southern girl
With her Levi's on and an open heart
Wish I could save the world
Like I was Supergirl
The real me used to laugh all night
Lyin in the grass just talkin' bout love
But lately I've been jaded
Life got so complicated

I start thinkin' about it
I almost forgot what it was like
To know what it feels like

But with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me
Right before I hit the ground
With nothin' but a t-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you

You speak and it's like a song
And just like that all my walls come down
It's like a private joke
Just meant for us to know

I relate to you naturally
Everybody else just fades away
Sometimes it's hard to breathe
Just knowing you found me

Cuz' I start thinkin' about it
I almost forgot what it was like
To know when love feels like

Cuz' with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me
Right before I hit the ground
With nothin' but a t-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you

With you with you with you

Come and take me
Love you, save me
Like nobody else
Now I can be myself with you

I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me
Right before I hit the ground
With nothin' but a t-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you

I used to say that.

2010-04-10T23:34:00.002+08:00

I wanna start over.

I'm gonna start over. (I'm sorry)

Its just wrong timing, not supposed to .

Mia

2010-03-09T22:16:00.002+08:00

I miss my mugging days(like crazy) & I miss my "council" days(not as crazy). GOD, why is this so hard..
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Gonna go mia.
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for a while (:

I mean it,

2010-03-04T02:00:00.003+08:00

It's going back to childish games. seriously, it's just a game to you.Isnt it ? a game of bitching around. You know what, WHATEVER. about two months back, when you and _ asked me out and i heard from _ that you wanted to talk things out and you know, salvage this friendship. i really was truthful about starting anew. but hey, YOU THREW THIS FRIENDSHIP AWAY. please, save the drama your 'face' your pride your integrity or your whatever. you tell other people that you're disappointed in me & Q? like what Q said, THE FEELING IS MUTUAL. I was really truthful about starting over. even when some people doubted you, I STILL STOOD UP FOR YOU JUST LIKE BEFORE. but shit. i was too stupid to think you were truthful. I really wanted to try talking to Q about our friendship. get together again, the 3 of us. but you had to just do this kind of childish things.

&F.Y.I, I didnt say anything bad or about you to anyone. PLEASE, stop being an asshole and assume. WHY WOULD I WANT TO WASTE MY TIME AND SALIVA TALKING OR SAYING THINGS ABOUT YOU TO OTHERS? I rather sleep than talk about you. I took you as a friend or at least, a friend i was once closed to. BUT YOU HAD TO PROVE ME WRONG AND MAKE THINGS WORSE. When people asked or said things about you, I STILL KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT. i thought about how you feel and i thought about you. but still, YOU HAD TO PROVE ME WRONG. I hate to break it to you but the reason why people ignored you is because you came in with some pissed off face, looking as if we owed you the world. WHAT DO YOU THINK? you think people will still approach of you and joke around with you ? of course, they wouldnt want to even talk to you. REFLECT ON YOURSELF. stop pointing fingers at others, IT'S YOU THATS THE PROBLEM. You always think you're so right. You're so high and almighty. WAKE UP, you're not. & gosh, you still think you did nothing wrong.. Unbelievable.

I might still think i'm a leader. BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO COME BACK AND HELP OUT. even if it's a bit thickskin. but at least, I still feel so. Even council. I would still think I'm a leader because i was there to guild the excos. Do you even know whats going on? C'mon. you should be the one who should look into the mirror and wake up. AT LEAST I HELPED THE EXCOS FOR THE VALENTINE'S DAY BAKING PROJECT ALONG WITH ANDY. AT LEAST I TRIED TO HELP THE SNCOS DURING TRAINING. AT LEAST, I WAS INVOLVED. but you ? You just know how to put "-.-" faces . even when i asked you a favour to help out for the baking project. It was a favour and you were an ex-exco. but still..

i often wonder, are you even real ? Act so nice with a person when you're in front of that person. but TALK ALL SORTS OF THINGS BEHIND that person. SORRRY, im not like you. i dont need to "GATHER" friends to "SUPPORT" me. i dont need those kind of friends. THOSE KIND OF FRIENDSHIP WONT LAST. just like you.. Lets just forget it. This time, i mean it. I'm through with this.

Life is amazing,

2010-02-26T18:10:00.002+08:00

We don't have to try
To think the same thoughts
We just have a way
Of knowing everything's gonna be ok

We laugh till we cry
Read each other's minds
Live with a smile
Make it all worthwhile
Make it all worthwhile

Life has moments hard to describe
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Moutain we're on

Always knowing we're gonna be fine
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain we're on

The view is so clear
And it's crazy up here
Life is amazing with you on the ride

We don't wanna sleep
Just wanna stay up
There's so much to say
And not enough hours in a day

We laugh till we cry
Read each other's minds
Live with a smile
Make it all worth while
Make it all worth while

Life has moments hard to describe
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain we're on

Always knowing we're gonna be fine
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain we're on

The view is so clear
And it's crazy up here
Life is amazing with you on the ride

No time to be lazy
The journey is perfect
The place is so crazy
The race is so worth it
I will be with you
We'll do this together
Always together

Life has moments hard to describe
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain we're on

Always knowing we're gonna be fine
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Never coming down
Never coming down
Never coming down

Always knowing we're gonna be fine
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain we're on

The view is so clear
And It's crazy up here
Life is amazing with you on the ride
The place is so crazy
The race is so worth it
Life is amazing with you on the ride

Cheer up, Silly ! (:

"We laugh till we cry
Read each other's minds
Live with a smile
Make it all worthwhile
Make it all worthwhile"

Facebook Quiz II (:

2010-02-25T22:18:00.002+08:00

Somewhat, almost true.. hahahahha ! :D

Staying (:

2010-02-25T03:16:00.003+08:00

Shivers, woke up by some freak dream. \: couldnt sleep after that, decided to use the com for a while(Bad move, i guess). Came across this interesting quote . Really meaningful (:

'Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else. Nobody is forced to stay; we all have choices. But the real test is if someone would rather stay with you, even though walking away would be so much easier. '

Really true (: Okay ! i think i should try to hit the hay, AGAIN. Ciaos ! (: Shall update this blog sooooooooooooon *Pinky promise* :P

Taking chances

2010-02-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

Don't know much about your life
Don't know much about your world
But don't want to be alone tonight on this planet they call earth

You don't know about my past and I don't have a future figured out
And maybe this is going too fast
And maybe it's not meant to last

But what do you say to taking chances
What do you say to jumping off the edge
Never knowing if there's solid ground below or a hand to hold
Or hell to pay
What do you say
What do you say

I just want to start again
(I just want to start again)
And maybe you could show me how to try
And maybe you could take me in
(Take me in)
Somewhere underneath your skin

But what do you say to taking chances
What do you say to jumping off the edge
Never knowing if there's solid ground below or a hand to hold
Or hell to pay
What do you say
What do you say

And I had my heart beaten down but I always come back for more
Yeah
There's nothing like love to pull you up
When you're laying down on the floor there
So talk to me
Talk to me like lovers do
Yeah
Walk with me
Walk with me like lovers do
Like lovers do

What do you say to taking chances
What do you say to jumping off the edge
Never knowing if there's solid ground below or a hand to hold
Or hell to pay
What do you say
What do you say

Don't know much about your life and I don't know much about your world

So what do you say ? (;

Facebook Quiz

2010-02-20T15:49:00.000+08:00

Dear YeeSuan Sin, below are your Personality Tests result:
Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Your view on yourself:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are down-to-earth
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : People like you because you are so straightforward
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are a true romantic
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : When you are in love
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You will do anything
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Everything to keep your love true
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person
The seriousness of your love:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are very serious about relationships
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : If you meet the right person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You will fall deeply
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Beautifully in love
Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Education is very important in life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You want to study hard
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Learn as much as you can
The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You need to choose something
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Go for it to be happy
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Achieve success
How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of failure
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous
What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Independence is important to you

Sort of true (: hahahahh!

it changed everything,

2010-02-04T01:55:00.001+08:00

(: For the first time ever, i was moved to tears and i laughed. Yes, you silly. (: I know i screwed up too many times. Ive did many things that hurt you unknowingly. But still, you've the right to know that I went into the correct elevator (: meeting you and to be friends with you a couple of years back, it was fate (: It wasnt coincidence. even after a change in seats, i sat next to you. I became your friend. I became a listening ear. I became a shoulder you can cry on when you were down in the dumps or at your lowest point.then as a friend, I tried to fill the hole in your heart(hopefully i did) but unknowingly, you filled the hole in my heart too. the hole that have been there for 2years. the injury that was hurt once again due to foolishness. You became my friend. You became the listening ear. You became the shoulder i can cry on when i was down in the dumps or at my lowest point. You made an impact in my life. Thank you (:

After reading a couple of things, i am sure of what i need to do. I'm placing one last bid. and i'll wait. When the wait is over, i'll know again. whether it's destined. (: If you're reading this, dont ask me why. but please hold on. I just want to make sure and clear of something. Please hold on.. Promised (:

still, I'M GONNA CALL YOU SILLY FROM NOW I THINK(: hehehe! sillyyyyyyy! (; &i still think gliding sounds like a descriptive for aeroplanes. hahah ! the big aluminum ones, not paper aeroplanes ! :P

):

2010-02-03T19:56:00.002+08:00

In a serious dilemma right now. and it's a secret i cant share. feel so what the fuck right now. Okay, what the fuck. i cant wait for somethings to happen. &I hope it happens. It'll solve everything. (i think). Oh, whatever. I want to sleep. sleep forever or at least till the day i forget it*.

2oo9 (:

2010-01-31T03:32:00.002+08:00

I miss 2oo9. I miss studying like some mad kid. I miss sitting in class. I miss Marcus's ridiculous jokes. I miss the moments or times when Zhehuan would always come to find Shiwei after each teacher leave the class. I miss giving jolyn the 'joker look' whenever she walks past me and I'm not studying. I miss gossiping with Myint and telling him to not fall asleep. I miss talking to E and S during recess( we werent even talking, we're just blabbering nonsense(; ). I miss the stressful meetings with the awesome Executive Committee'08/'09. I miss Ms Lee's "i cant help you" phrase. I miss Ms Lee's english lesson where she tried to hard to teach us but we might just give funny comments that would distract her from lesson. I miss Mdm kee's A and E maths lessons. I miss Mdm kee's kuku jokes and Wimi would always try to interrupt her when she's saying it. I miss Mr Saktun's "very innocent" jokes during physics lessons. &I miss how the class tried to act "we're really innocent" whenever he said something "very innocent". I miss SS lessons where Ms Paul would try to make high voices or weird noises when she teach and the class would just interrupt her. I miss the times when Ms paul tries very hard to ask us to shut up with her "peace" or "twist" finger sign. (hahahaha!) I miss how the class never fails to make a teacher smile and laugh and feel comfortable teaching us. I miss PE lessons with the girls and how i always go high whenever we play soccer. I miss the time during every geography lesson, Jolyn Darrel Dahao Zhehuan and i would make a lot of noise and interrupt the lessons. I miss the times jolyn and i talk stupid things during Geography lessons. I miss talking on the phone till late with Q.N or Hee or S or E. I miss those late night conferences. I miss arguing physics with E and we'll end up calling it "Physics debate". (hahaha, i remember Mr Saktun found it amusing that we're arguing instead of learning from each other). I miss those times the usual group would go for movies like "Angels and Demon","Monster VS Alien", "Fame" etc. I miss the times we went to school for Night study(which was not exactly a failure or a success). I miss the times S and i would go to Buddies to eat Fish and Chip and talk about the past. I miss the times(for a short while) Siying Isabel Jolyn and i were close and Gavin called us superglue or we come in a 'package of 4'. I miss the times(also a short while) D& i talked over the public phone during recess and Siying Isabel and Jolyn would come and disturb our talk. (hahahaha!) I miss studying really hard for Chinese Os.I miss the June holidays where the secondary four councillors practiced super hard for the Sec4 Council Item. I miss goofing around during dance practice with QingNing and Shiqi. I miss slacking inside the council room with the usual group. I miss trying very hard to do Amaths in the council room but end up talking to S about things*. (hehehehe!) I miss the "just-have-3-students-for-music-lesson" feeling on monday afternoons (it was fun in the end !) &I miss the times during music lesson when we'll ask Mr Goh what time we end lesson and if we can end early.(most of the time, it did! :D )

God, i miss 2oo9. Good times, good times.. well, HELLO 2o1o (; hahaha ! Didnt start 2o1o the best way, things are changing for the better (: Realised quite a bit and i know what's wrong. (i think). Time check:3.21am. I'm still wide awake. Went through photos from last year then i realised how much i miss 2oo9 and 4s2. Although i wasnt close to 4s2, I MISS THE FEELING OF BEING PART OF AN AMAZING CLASS. yeah, i really miss that feeling. Keeping my fingers crossed for the appeal (: okay, i think i'll go catch a movie before i crash . Ciaos ! (:

Look who's back (:

2010-01-23T21:47:00.005+08:00

Okay, was back in Singapore since 30th of dec. Have been busy since the day i got back till now.Work, Results, JAE, Chalet, Outings, Catching up with people. &in a blink of an eye, It's already the 23rd of January. Time flies.

Stopped working at Promod since 15th of January if I'm not wrong. A great working experience (: Lovely colleagues, managers, customers, clothings.. Definitely learnt a lot during that short one month (: Currently looking for another job. Hopefully, a job that is a bit more flexible with the working hours cause i realised people who are working, will miss out in a lot of things in life. especially spending quality time with loved ones. Really want to spend time with my loved ones before i start school. I reckon when school starts, i'll become some busy busy busy kiddo. *pouts* ohwell !

Speaking of school, that reminds me of my O level results. I'm gonna keep it short : LOUSY. Knew the outcome wouldnt be good at all, and it really was. Ohwell ! lesson learnt this time. I wasnt happy, i didnt feel any ounce of happiness although many told me that it(my results) was really good. but i didnt feel happy or satisfied at all. Not one bit. Thanks to my results, had a tough time filling up my JAE form. Really difficult \: but i completed the form in the end (:

Results for JAE would be out next week. I cant say that i'll for sure get into a JC or poly cause it's really hard to predict things with my score and choices. Keeping fingers crossed and hope something good will happen (: Chalet just ended a few days ago. It was better than i thought it'll turn out to be. For everyone, it was fun and really manage to catch up with friends. But for me, it wasnt exactly just fun. Knew that something will happen when the second hand stopped moving. Everything when that happens, something will happen. most of the time, bad things. Ohwell !

Didnt manage to catch up much with QingNing and Changhee recently. &Still havent eat Gelare with Jolyn (: Hope to catch up with them real soon. &Hope to have another sleepover+movie marathon with TLT soon. Jol's busy with her Year1 Finals so all plans are on hold for now. Things are getting a bit messy and complicated, but wont give up. i'll find a way. Alrighty, photos up real soon . Ciaos ! (:

Gone,

2010-01-04T01:07:00.002+08:00

Well, 2oo9 was really some clumsy year filled with numerous mistakes, wrong decisions, misunderstandings and not forgetting, losing things. Of course, there's a good side of 2oo9. (: Ohwell ! I still have one more important decision to make. yes, the moment i open that results slip. the moment i see my score and the moment that changes everything. how much my four years in secondary school is worth and how much more i must do to make it worthwhile.

I keep telling myself and everyone else, dont go crazy and all. everything is 'carved to stone'. (Quoted from Ms Lee G. Y) hahaha ! yes, it was carved to stone the day we sat for our O level papers. However, i am still freaking out ( deeep down ). No one can imagine how scared i am right now about this. Retake or carry on? Jc or Poly? Retake or Poly? The feeling of knowing it's not your best shot, freaks me out. If you know its your best, at least you'll not worry or freak out as much as me. It's knowing it's not your best shot, you want to cry and freak out even more. Dilah told me everything's already done at MOE now. waiting to be sent to our school. Now, im just waiting for time to pass by. still freaking out and super afraid ! ): hopefully, it would turn out alright. (keeping my 10fingers and 10toes crossed!)

Tomorrow's the first day of school (: ( not for me). and speaking of school, i miss school. LIKE. CRAZY. Hopefully JC would be something like that (; alrighty, got to get medicine and more stuffs tomorrow. SOMEONE'S SICK ! \: ciaos ! Pictures of my trip will be uploaded soon(i hope).

I realised, i didnt have a life from may till November. History will repeat itself right ? but this time, i cant bear to treat you that way. i know, i can never..

2010-01-02T12:01:00.001+08:00

I dont see myself next to you anymore. This isnt like before and you know it.

blog tonight or soon.

A pity,

2009-12-13T00:16:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, its a pity that after so long, you give up along the way and you tell yourself " forget it." or "heck care". yeah, i find that a pity. and the worst thing is im telling myself that. But you know what, I'll still gonna tell myself to heck care. Im not going to change the entire chapter of my life because of an incident. I will never do that again. (except for family and ______) This is the end of a chapter. I'm just going with the flow. Im not stopping just for one incident. I rather forgo that incident and move on with life.

At the end of a chapter, it's a new beginning. So, Goodbye. (I'm really tired of thinking)

Ignorance is bliss

2009-12-09T00:19:00.002+08:00

Ignorance is bliss. It's like history is repeating itself. Just like last year, Same reasons and same excuses. Or am i just afraid. I think i should get some shut eye. I think i should talk to K(the idiot) soon.

I agree with you. This is, too much drama. I'll explain everything.

The river would flow,

2009-12-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

Things have been going pretty well.(apart from that iPod incident, now im extremely extremely EXTREMELY careful with all my belongings) Been transferred to another outlet. Things have been going well, Made friends with the people there. All of them are very friendly, especially Zack(the dodo/The kuku backside) and Atiqah. (: Heading town tomorrow to get clothes for overseas plus celebrate my little sis's birthday. Might need to drop by the store to help things out tomorrow. Hope tomorrow would turn out great. (fingers crossed!) :D

The river would flow( if not it wouldn't be called a river).Which path it will choose has to depend of the river's surroundings.

One word

2009-11-30T23:56:00.003+08:00

omg, only one word can be used to describe my feelings right now: UNLUCKY. went to work, ipod ran out of batt. Left work and went home, iPod is no longer with me. i nearly wanted to scream F non-stop. this is damn unlucky.

I'm so gonna call up my workplace at 10.45am tomorrow. i freaking dont care man. &now i feel the pinch of spending money. i need to spend my own money to get a new iPod. & the worst thing: IT Fair just ended. (i was right to ask my dad to get me an iPod Nano/iPod touch. i was so right) but he didnt ! (Argh)

The only,

2009-11-25T23:30:00.005+08:00

I've a feeling that im the only sec4 student from Orchid Park Secondary School that is back at home, reading a book and doing a bit of studying later. Well, as weird as this would sound, i love this kind of lifestyle? just reading and studying the subjects you love. (: Guess everyone's having fun at prom. It is weird that everyone left me MSN messages asking me stuff about prom. (hahahaha) Well, everyone would never thought that i would be spending quality time with family and studying. well, Spending time with TLT was wonderful and i enjoy every second with them (:

Working lifestyle starts tomorrow. &I cant wait to start work this coming monday at Promod. Im heading to Kinokuniya to get my physics book this coming monday too.(looking forward to it) Alrighty, i guess i better crash soon. first impression is very important! (: Ciaos!

Epiphany

2009-11-20T23:02:00.003+08:00

After a date, all of this would be over. All of this, would be gone. privated. left aside. You told me you wanted to be selfish. then i thought to myself, when was the last time i made a decision for myself? 7months ago. After a date, i would stand up for myself.

You've made me realized what i've been doing, is not me But who i have been trying to be, to avoid from being myself.

just for a day,

2009-11-20T00:09:00.002+08:00

I've never felt so stucked. &hell yes, the feeling is awful. I've never felt this helpless in my life. Now, i can hardly breathe. Im trying my best, really trying my very best but to no avail. I need and want to breathe. I really want to breathe.

Back in town,

2009-11-13T19:18:00.002+08:00

I'm contented with today's shopping trip with Shiqi, Qingning and Jiayu. I think Jiayu& I went a bit kuku with the things at the art shop. but it was damn fun :D Saw quite a number of awesome things at FarEast and Ion. going back there soon to get them. I'm gonna start clearing the clothes in my closet. Was thinking of donating my clothes to the Salvation Army. Hope it's possible. Mom's birthday is this coming wednesday. &IM SUPERRRRRRR GUILTY! because i'll be in Malaysia till this coming wednesday,6pm{or later}. so technically, i cant spend her special day together with her )'; Daddy's going overseas on a business trip for the entire week, which makes things even worse. Putting myself in her shoes, i think its really unfair. ): hope to spend this weekend with her&hopes she dont make plans with her friends for the weekend so can spend some quality time together.

oh,& I wanna get a job ! *desperate cries* can anyone introduce a few to me?
Everyone. okay, most people, already got a job ! *jealous*
Hope the sitex thing works out. really want to try that out (:
Okay, i think dinner is calling me. Ciaos world ! (:

the upcoming month,

2009-11-11T16:53:00.004+08:00

O levels are finally over. (: Gonna get novels from the library soon. i really want to read that string theory book once again. how amazing ! Im keeping all my notes{okay, all except SS} and my assessment books. Who knows, all these might be useful if i ever wanna retake my Os or even for A levels or for poly. Not much plans so far for the hols {surprising eh}. but one thing that im positive about and am going to do is to make people happy during this hols. (:

I've figured things out. sometimes, when you dont get something you really want and hoped for, that doesnt mean you have to stand by the sidelines and not help others in getting the things that mean a lot to them. &sometimes, making people happy or seeing other people jumping for joy and squealing in happiness makes life wonderful.

I might have missed out many wonderful things and opportunities in the past. and im sure, i will miss out even more in the future{especially if im taking the As}. but i guess, for this short 1month or so, i will make the best out of it. (: Grad picture's will be up in this blog/facebook soon. (: my com has some dingdong and i cant get into the net. currently surviving on the labtop. oh,&my long post will be up real soon. it's gonna be along with my grad pics (:

QingNing: ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR MALAY&BIO PAPER TOMORROW ! dont worry, you'll write something one for your malay paper ! (; friday friday yeah ! :D

Ciaos world ! (:

sealed,

2009-11-09T13:44:00.005+08:00

the funniest thing now, is i know my title for this post.but i do not have the slightest idea of how to write the body of the post. i guess now isnt the best time for things. but once again, it's sealed.

ive a premonition of my health.

Invisible life,

2009-11-08T20:54:00.002+08:00

Whenever you're close to me
I feel a trembling inside.
And then you approached me that day,
suddenly a piece of mind.
But I don't want to leave.

I'm not worthy of this higher being in the life.
I'm truly, holy, but I know I'm confined to this ground.
Invisible life.

Whenever the rush recedes,
my reality melts away.
I'm turning on the TV screen.
It appears we're all ok.
But I don't want to leave.

I'm not worthy of this higher being in the life.
I'm truly holy, but I know, I'm confined to this ground.
Cause I can hear this humble silence creeping to my house.
I know it feels like coming home.
But I can't go this time.

I'm taking my own chances to find truth between the lies.
Its kinda like just what it is.
So I've got to try.

Cause I can hear this humble silence creeping in your house.
I know it feels like coming home.
But I can't go this time.

I'm not worthy of this highness, feeling in the life.
I'm truly holy, but I know I'm confined to this ground.
Cause I can hear this humble silence creeping to my house.
I know it feels like coming home.
But I can't go this time.
Invisible life.

Almost, Almost.

2009-11-04T17:47:00.002+08:00

3 more papers. last 3 papers. im almost there.
Finally a day i can catch my breath. *phew*

Almost there. Really almost there.
I cant speak, i cant dream.

Broken strings ,

2009-10-15T18:46:00.001+08:00

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real

Well the truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late (too late)

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real

Well truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

I should really get back to mugging. 10 more days, Wake up call.

Loving the days,

2009-10-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

As weird as this might sound, I think I'm starting to love this study break (:
Weird because I actually find joy in studying.
I think 1001 people wanna slap me in the face right now. ohwells !

Today, i realised that i have a very nice husband (:
&a daughter i didnt know i had. hahaha!
&&My husband's grandma IS SO CUTE !! :D
Looking forward to studying at T3 this thursday !
&definitely night study this tuesday ! (:

Mum just bought popeye's biscuits. HOW COOL IS THAT !
hahahha! i think the following two weeks are gonna be awesome (:
Ciaos peeps ! many more things to do ! (:

I've changed my impression of you (: in a good way (;

Blending in,

2009-10-07T16:26:00.004+08:00

Sometimes,you just dont wanna blend with the crowd.
you just wanna be tnereffid|different (:

Many more papers to do. pressing on ! (:

On it's way,

2009-10-05T17:32:00.003+08:00

Music practical today was great. i did leave behind a few regrets here and there, & if i was given a chance to redo it, i would do everything to leave no regrets. but none the less, it was a wonderful experience. first was the pressure with an audience during the recital{been quite some time}, then the many different emotions you felt while playing the pieces, the endless practices and lessons on two pieces. Ive never worked so hard in my entire life, for a piano exam. Even for ABRSM exams, i would just practice 3 times a week, &each time i would practice not more than an hour. for this exam, it was madness. 2-3hours every session at the piano and usually, everyday i spend an average amount of an hour plus plus at the piano trying my very best to get everything right. Staying back with isabel and grace, who helps you clap the beat like a walking metronome, and giving each other comments. playing at the grand piano. I left CHIJ st nicholas today with a smile on my face & with a heart filled with joy. The results is definitely on its way. Not exactly A1 material, but its coming. a B? a C? well, who knows. (:

For the 2nd time in my life, I'm so proud of myself. It wasn't exactly perfect, but it was my best shot & the best experience. ive to admit, im really tired & having some nasty headache now. hitting the hay much earlier tonight. i doubt i can do any homework with this nasty headache. okay, maybe i'll land at 8plus and wake up much earlier to continue with homework. emaths mock exam tomorrow in the hall. 21 more days to O level.YeeSuan, 200%.

ciaos people ! (:

Limits,

2009-10-02T23:41:00.002+08:00

I wanna go over my limit. this time, it's 200%.
Limits are only limits when we decide to give up. This is not my limit.
Im not giving up, I want it. 200% from now on.

Pressing on,

2009-09-30T18:37:00.000+08:00

I decided to take some time out of everything for just today.
Piano recital just now was super...
okay, one word: horrible.
Messed this up, messed that up.
O level practical is next monday. im still messing things up.
Need to press on.
I dont wanna waste 10mins of someone else's time.
i think, i wasted about 10mins of people's time today.

Thanks Changhee and dahao, for everything. (:
I know i screwed up, big time. but thanks for telling me i didnt & trying to make me feel better.
Thanks a million (:

okay!

YeeSuan is going to wow that two judges on monday no matter what stupid thing she plays. YeeSuan is going to give everything her best shot from now on. YeeSuan promises to never give up and press on no matter how exhausted she is. YeeSuan will do all this with Dodo's support. Yeesuan will stop complaining about her past and start living for tomorrow ! She will sieze the day ! She will finish this final lap !

Seasons changing

2009-09-20T23:50:00.002+08:00

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Thats what they say. Seasons are changing.
Before we know it, we might start changing our names to someone else's name.
Geez, im a loser.

She's

2009-09-19T21:52:00.001+08:00

She looks into my eyes and i'm alive again
And when she says goodbye, I just die again
That's when my restlessness begins
Please don't let it win
I'm so tired again
But underneath the haze
One thing still remains the same

She's the only love I've known
And now she's gone away
She's the light that brought me to the edge
Will i ever love again?

She walked into my life and my world was still
She reached into my soul and all my doubts were killed
That's when my loneliness subsided
She gave me the will,
I could fight it
But nothing can erase the one thing that remains the same

[Chorus]
She's the only love I've known
And now she's gone away
She's the light that brought me to the edge
Will i ever love again?

So just tell me what i should do
I left everything for you
And i can't hardly breathe
'Cause i know i lost you from my world
From my...

[Chorus]
She's the only love I've known
And now she's gone away
She's the light that brought me to the edge
Will i ever love again?

She's the only love I've known
And now she's gone away
She's the light that brought me to the edge
Will i ever love again?

I'm happy & contradicting

2009-09-18T21:31:00.001+08:00

Okay, the title already gave everything away, literally.
Prelim's ending soon, 3 more papers left then here comes O level music performance.
followed by O level science practical exams and finally the O level papers.
Frankly, im so not looking forward to graduation.
okay, im a bit looking forward to graduation cause i can leave.
seeeeee, contradicting once again. okay, whatever whatever.

Some of the prelim papers are a bit tough.
&the surprising thing is that im glad that some are tough ! im a freaking idiot right.
but hey, the tough papers are the one that nailed us down.
they nail almost everyone down, good ones and bad ones.{except the really good ones}
&thats great. i mean if it's so easy, there's no point taking the exam right ?
It's not even preparing you for the worst.

Lets backtrack:
(a) english papers- pleased with paper 2 and speech
(b) emaths paper 1- careless
(c) ss paper- smiling throughout the seq

(d) amaths paper1- it's a easy paper but some question at the back couldnt do it until after they collected the paper. *sigh*

(e)geography paper- smiling throughout the paper
(f)chemistry paper 3- completely manageable, paper wasnt good at all.
(g) emaths paper 2- relatively easy with one ridiculous careless mistake for probability. i wanted to bang my head against a wall when i realised that.

(h)Biology paper4- Was smiling when i saw the quetions. not exactly because i know the answers to all. but some other reasons (: have to admit, not a very easy paper. there's a level of difficulty especially understanding the questions.

(i) physics paper2- happiest paper. i thought i would fail physics or do badly. wouldnt say exactly getting 60plus for this paper like midyear. but hoping to get at least 50.

(j)Practical papers- was quite alright. finished chem faster than usual.

(k)Music paper- was very sad for the japanese. i actually wrote the correct answer for everything under japanese. but i was kuku thanks to the phrase " wood and string instruments" in part (ii) then i changed all my answers. but the rest was alright. haydn first 15 marks was super shiok. i was smiling throughout the section.

Left with physics paper 1, comb science paper1 and amaths paper2.
37 more days to o levels.
Im looking forward to kayaking, ubin-ing, OBS{hopefully}.
oh & im definitely looking forward to Paris (:

Catching up on sleep. ciaos ! (:

Contradicting

2009-09-16T18:54:00.003+08:00

Simple yet complicated.
Sad yet happy.
Hungry yet not hungry.
Sleepy yet awake.

That's ironic. okay, enough talk.
I've to study. ciaos !
Maybe a proper blogpost soon.
&im guessing from the word 'soon' that it's not gonna be anytime soon.
Okay, pretty contradicting. (:

Biology part I

2009-09-15T19:59:00.002+08:00

Ecology

(a) Energy flow in all organism

Chlorophyll in green plants trap light energy from the sun and produces chemical energy in the form of glucose during photosynthesis.Consumers{ carnivorous or herbivorous animals } absorb this energy through feeding relationships in the food chain or food web. Glucose is used in all organism to produce energy during respiration for muscle contraction, cell division, active transport etc. thus, the light energy that originated from the Sun is passed along the food chain as chemical energy. Therefore, because of light energy, The Sun is the principle source of energy for all living organism.

(b) non cycle flow of energy
Non-cyclic flow of energy refers to the light energy from the sun that is trapped by the Producers and transfered to the consumers in the form of chemical energy. this energy is eventually lost to the environment as heat loss because during respiration, some of the energy realised is changed into heat enegy and heat energy cant be changed by living things into chemical energy.

(c) Relationships in the food web
- producers
green plants that produces energy for other living organism to survive by changing light energy into chemical energy in the form of glucose. this glucose is changed into other forms{eg fats or proteins} which contain chemical energy is eat and passed down the food chain.

-Consumers
animals cannot photosynthesize. animals cannot make food. Since animals cannot make food, they take food that is made by other living organism in order to survive. They realease chemical energy in food during respiration in order to survive and reproduce.

-Decomposers
example of decomposers are bacteria and fungi. they break down organic compound in dead remains and release raw materials such as carbon dioxide and mineral salts back to the environment.

(d)reasons for energy loss
- not all part of the plant is eaten
-The plant is respiring{ some energy is lost as heat enery}
-The plant might not be digested.
-Excretion{ removal of metallbolic waste}

Part 2 later. man, ecology is pretty hard to memorise. \:
Jiayous ! last chap !

At every level, about 90% of the energy is lost. that is why a food chain cannot have more than 6 links. this is because the last population would have too little energy to support another population to grow and reproduce.

A 100 to 1.

2009-09-14T19:45:00.002+08:00

I wanted to blog something normal.
but im tired and i think i should continue studying.
Some other time.
Ciaos (:

Geography part V

2009-09-13T20:47:00.003+08:00

Development part C :D

Strategies to alleviate uneven development in the world:
(a) International organizations
(i) World bank

The world bank is an example of an international organization with member countries that are committed to provide aid to reduce poverty in the world. member countries of the world bank provide loans to Less developed countries { LDCs } at low or no interest rate. the loans can be used by the LDCs to improve their level of development through projects such as improve water supply or sanitation system or to finance vaccination programmes. one example would be between 1996 to 2005, the world bank provide loans that covered 60% of the total cost of a project to develop villages in Northeastern Brazil. the project included the building the infrastructure like water or electricity facilities. it also provide mechanization for agricultural purposes, thus improving the lives of 7.5 million villagers.

(ii) Asian development bank (ADB)

The Asian development bank is established in 1966 to reduce poverty and to improve the quality of life of the people in the Asian Pacific region. ADB provided aid in the form of monetary loans and technical assistance to it's member countries. the government of these countries can make use of the financial support and improve on it's country's economy and level of development.one example would be, in 2005, the ADB provided a US1 million grant for the project to improve the urban living conditions in the central region of Vietnam. this short term project aims to develop the drainage system as well as to improve water supply and sanitation systems.

(b) International agreements
(i)UN convention on the law of the sea
The UN convention on the Law of the Sea played an imporant role in alleviating uneven development in the world. It had a positive impact on coastal states. The convention not only allow coastal states to exercise soreverity over it's terrotial seas, it also allowed coastal states to set up Exclusive Economic Zone {EEZ} which gives the country the sole right to carry out marine research, harvest natural resources as well as carry out economic activities within 200 nautical miles from their the shores. this allows coastal states which are LDCs to maximize their coastal resources for development.

(ii) UN millennium development goals
In order to alleviate uneven development in the world, the UN decided on an agreement known as the UN millennium development goals in 2000 to help LDCs achieve a greater level of development. the UN hopes to reach the goals by 2015.

(c) National strategies
(i) Population control
Another strategy that governments used for national development is population control. having a large population means a lot of resources is needed to support the large population. and if the resources isnt enought to support the population, a situation known as overpopulation occurs. overpopulation brings a lot of problems such as limited jobs available or little access to education as too many people are fighting for too little resources. one example would be China. With a population of 1billion and growing, China introduced a one-child policy in 1979 to reduce population growth. the chinese government offered incentives to families with one child { eg priority in buying houses} and disincentives to discourage families that have more than one chid { eg compulsory sterillization or forced abortion}.

(ii) Education
Education plays a crucial role in the development in a country. It is also an important investment in a country's future. In Singapore, English is made as a compulsory subject since the 1960s and has been used as the medium of instruction for all subjects except for Mother Tongue languages. education from primary to university level for all Singaporeans is subsidized by the Government. The government expendicure has also increased which leads to more schools, vocational institutions, polytechnics and universities being built. Giving singaporeans more opportunities to acquire the relevant skills for their future career. If the people in a country is able to read and write, the likelihood of them finding a job is higher. an educated and literate workforce is crucial for the effective transfer of tecnhological knowledge and skills. and if you would like to upgrade your skills, you can take up training or development programmes. English is evidently an important subject in international trade and commerce. Promoting it's use is an effective strategy to attract foreign investors and foreign talents which are vital to achieve a high level of economic development.

(iii) Healthcare
Singapore has put in place adequate measures to ensure that the environment is clean and hygenic. Affordable healthcare is provided to all singaporeans to improve their health. The government also built public hospitals as well as clinics to provide a range of medical services at a subsidized rate. The government has also introduced insurance schemes and medican savings schemes which are linked to the Central Provident Funds {CPF}. Healthcare must not only be made accessible to those who can afford it but also accessible to the poor in the urban areas as well as the poor farmers in the rural areas. having good health would positively affect a person's producitivity which would in turn increase the standard of living.

(iv) Water supply
In Ahmedabad(India), 41% of the population lives in slums or squatter settlements. More than 25% of the population do not have toilet facilities and extreme poverty is widespread. In the mid 1990s, the parivatan slum networking programme was established to help the region to develop. slum dwellers were given basic infrastructure so that there is access to clean water, underground sewage, individual toilets and solid waste collection. after the people have access to clean water and proper sanitation facilities, the death rates declined from 6.9 per 1000 people to 3.7 per 1000 people. fewer people suffered from general illness. the programme has helped 59 000 people from 40 slums and it has expanded to 59 more slums. it has been successful in improving the standard of living of the people in Ahmedabad and helping the region to develop.

Kalimantan \:
Yeesuan, JIAYOUS ! (:

Geography part IV

2009-09-13T19:13:00.002+08:00

Development part B (:

Reasons for Variation in development:
(a)Historical reason:Colonialism(i) positive impact on Colonial powers

Colonialism refers to the domination of a more powerful country over another country{ known as a colony} Colonial powers colonialized certain countries to obtain raw materials such as Cocoa or cotton that cant be grown or found in their own country. colonial powers knew how to add value to these raw materials by converting them to useful products & these useful products would be sold at a higher price. for example, cotton can be made into clothing and sold at a higher price. the colonial powers benefit from the sales of these useful products which contributes to their economy. many countries who used to be colonial powers tend to become developed countries quickly.

(ii) negative impact on Colonies

In colonies, development is slow. althought colonial powers developed infrastructure such as roads and railways to transport the raw materials, the colonial powers neglected other aspects of development such as education and healthcare. this resulted in most of the people in the colonies as uneducated. the people lack of the important skills or knowledge to build their country. therefore, most colonies remain poor and have a poor standard of living.

(b)Political reason

Political conflicts in the less developed countries { LDCs} can come in the form of a war or political unstability. this would have a negative impact of development. One example would be Sri Lanka. In Sria Lanka, there has been a war between the Tamils and the Sinhalese. The Tamils felt that there were treated unfairly. With a war, foreign investors lost confidence in the country and this has lead to a drop in foreign investments. foreign investments in Sri Lanka have dropped from US66 million to US22 million from 1982 to 1985. Tourism, one of Sri lanka's major source of income, has dropped because of the political war. Tourism arrivals fell by a lot after the war started in 1983.

(c) Social reason; Education
(i) negative impact on LDCs
in general, children living in LDCs have very little opportunites for education as their parents cannot afford to send them to school. this resulted in a low literacy rate. for example, Sierra Leone has a low literacy rate of 29.6% in 2003. this is because the country have little money to spend on education. with a low literacy rate, it would have a negative impact on the development in a country. People who have little education have difficulty in learning new skills or using modern technology. there would be a lack of skilled workers in the country and this would slow down the development of the secondary and tertiary industries.

(ii) positive impact on DCs
DCs tend to have means to build schools and train teachers to educate its people. Some DCs have a long history of placing a strong emphasis on education. one example would be Singapore. Singapore has a high literacy rate of 92.5% in 2005 because the country spends a considerable amount of money on the education sector: building schools, training teachers. with more people in the country being able to read and write { high literacy rate}, a larger proportion of the people would be working in the secondary and tertiary industry and contribute to a higher standard of living.

(d)Pressence of raw materials
(i) positive impact for countries with good leadership
In general, countries that have plenty of raw materials tend to develop faster than a country that has few or no raw materials. this is because the sales of these raw materials would generate more weath to the country and the money can be used to develop other aspects in the country such as healthcare and education. a good example would be Norway. Norway was ranked first in the HDI in 2003. One of the main reasons why norway have achieved such a high level of development is because Norway has a lot of raw materials such as timber and crude oil. crude oil is found in the North sea, Off the coast of Norway. crude oil would be made into petroleum and petroleum is a major source of income in Norway's economy. the Norweigian government felt that the sales of petroluem should not only benefit the petroluem companies but it should also benefit the people of Norway.The norweigian goverment decided to put a profit limit for petroluem producers and the rest of the money would go to the people of Norway. The norweigian goverment has played an important role in helping Norway to achieve such a high level of development.

(ii) negative impact for countries with poor leadership
One example would be Nigeria. Nigeria is the largest oil producer in Africa and 11th largest oil producer in the world. However, most of its people in Nigeria remain poor and the level of development is low. this is because of corrupt leadership. Nigeria leaders siphoned off billions of dollars that are revenues that are meant for development.

there's the 'climate' and ' cummulative casuation'. gonna have dinner first . ciaos ! (:

Geography part III

2009-09-13T17:36:00.003+08:00

Development part A (:

Core& periphery:

In the very beginning, all countries were at the same level of development. However, some countries started to develop faster than the others because of presence of natural resources or good natural harbour. this has resulted in some countries to become the core countries{ Developed countries; DCs } the lack of job opportunities in the Periphery countries { less developed countries; LDCs } has result in more and more people moving from the LDCs to the DCs in search of job opportunities. this movement of labour drained the workfore in the LDCs. On the other hand, the DCs are are benefiting from the additional talent in their countries which generates more wealth. The core countries continues to develop in the expense of the periphery countries. this effect is known as the backwash effect. however, since the 1990s, DCs realised that the cost of setting up manufacturing industries is lower in the LDCs. this has resulted in many companies setting up manufactories in LDCs. with more companies setting up manufactories in the LDCs, there are more job opportunities in the LDCs. the LDCs are now benefitting from the growth of the DCs. this effect is known as the spread effect. this also resulted in some countries to become the secondary core countries. the region is fully intergrated with more periphery countries benefitting from the core countries and inequalities are reduced to some extent.

GDP refers to the total amount of money generated by a country in a year.
GDP per capita refers to the average income a person is earning in a country.
GDP per capita= total amount of money generated in a country in a year divided by the total number of people in a country.

HDI stands for Human development Index. It is an index used by the United nation development programme to measure the level of development in a country. the closer the HDI is to 1, the more developed a country is. the further the HDI is from 1, the less developed a country is.

To measure HDI, there are many indicators. three main catagories: Health indicators, Education indicators and economic indicators.

Economic indicators:
(i)Employment structure
-in a country, different people work in different industries. there are three main industries: primary, secondary and tertiary. primary industries includes farming and plantation agriculture. secondary industries refers to manufacturing industires. and tertiary industries refers to the service industry.
-with a greater percentage of people working in the secondary and tertiary industry{ higher paying jobs}& a smaller percentage of people working in the primary industry, the greater the income per capita in the country. more and more people are able to afford better goods and services which leads to a better standard of living and a better quality of life.

(ii) job opportunies
- with more job opportunities in a country, more and more people would be employed in various industries which would contribute to the countries's GDP. more and more people would be able to afford goods and services and this will leads to a higher standard of living and better quality of life.

Health Indicators:
(iii) Life expectancy
the life expectancy refers to the amount of years a person is expected to live. in more developed countries, the life expectancy rate would be higher as there are clean water, food and better health care services.

(iv) Infant mortallity rate
the infant mortallity rate refers to the number of babies that are less than the age of 1, dies for every 1000 live babies. in more developed countries, the infant mortallity rate would be low as there is good healthcare services.

(v)Availibility of clean water supply
-water is essential for our survival as well as to carry out certain activities such as cooking, drinking and manufactoring.
-in developed countries like japan or norway, the people have better access to clean water supply as water is supplied to their homes by pipes. before the water is sent to these homes, the water is first sent to water treatment facilities to be treated to ensure that all bacteria and impurities are removed.
-On the other hand, in less developed countries, there is little access to clean water supply. the people usually have to walk long distances to collect water from a well as they cannot affored to have pipes to send water to their homes.
-A lack of clean water supply means that the water that is available is unsafe for drinking.
-the people are more prone to water-brone diseases which will lead to a poor standard of living and poor quality of life.

(vi) proper sanitation facilities
-Sanitation facilities includes proper flushing and proper waste disposal system.
-with proper sanitation facilities, it will allow the people to dispose their waste hygenically.
-with poor sanitation facilities, people will bury their waste in the soil or in the ground.
-this would contaminate the environment and water sources which would poss as a health risk
-it would in turn, lead to a poor standard of living and poor quality of life.

Education Indicators:
(vii) Literacy rate
-literacy rate refers to percentage of adults who are able to read and write in a country.
-with a higher literacy rate means that a large percentage of the population is able to read and write. this would mean that a larger percentage of the population would be employed in the secondary and tertiary industry { high paying jobs }. with more people in high paying jobs, the greater income per capita. a large proportion of the country can afford better goods and services which leads to a better standard of living and better quality of life.

Limitations of HDI and its indicators:
Like everything, there are limitations to these indicators as well as the HDI. for example, the economic indicators. when calculating the GDP per capita, we do not take into account income inequality. GDP per capita refers to the average income a person earns in a country. however, not everyone is working in the same industry or working in high paying jobs. for example:the GDP per capita of the USA has increased from 2002 to 2006 but the average wage in the USA remains flat because only 1% of the population benefit from the strong economic growth. the remaining 99% do not benefit much from the economic growth.

Another limitation is HDI is not accurate for LDCs. HDI do not take into account informal trading also known as barter trade. in informal trading, we exchange one good for another. no money is required in informal trading.

Two more parts. jiayous ! (:

Geography part II

2009-09-11T21:28:00.002+08:00

Mangrove forest:

Mangrove forest are usually found in areas that experiences tropical climate. In the mangrove forests, trees are 2-40m in height. this is because the muddy soil is unable to withstand or to prove a firm support for the tall trees/ heavy trees. In the mangrove forest, there is high temperate and high rainfall all year round.

Unlike the Tropical rainforest or the Tropical monsoon forests where they have vertical layers of the forest, the mangrove forest have 3 horizontal layers namely: Brugeuria(inland zone), Rhizophora(Middle zone), Avicennia/ Sonneratia(coastal zone).

Characteristic of mangrove forest:
(i) density
-mangrove forests are not as dense as tropical rain forest or tropical monsoon forest
-trees do not grow very close to one another

(ii) leaves
-large and board to absorb maximum amount of sunlight
-waxy surface with drip tips to prevent water from collecting on leave surface and to prevent bacteria growth
-the leaves are evergreen as there are no seasonal changes in terms of temperature and amount of rainfall.

(ii)flowers and fruits
-they bear flowers all year round.
-fruits:

for Avicennia trees fruits, they are buoyant. when they fall, the tide and waves would bring the fruits of the Avicennia trees would float to other coastal area where they can germinate and grow.

for Rhizophora fruits, they have an elongated structure with a sharp tip. this is help it anchor firmly to the muddy soil.

(iii) roots

-Avicennia trees have pencil-like roots. the pencil like roots would be still be exposed to the air when it is during high tide or when the water level is high. the pore on the pencil like roots allow the Avicennia to get oxygen

-Rhizophora trees have slit or prop roots give a firm support for the trees in the muddy soil.
-Brugueria trees have kneed roots.

Temperate coniferous forest:

It is located 60 degrees North to 70 degrees North. examples of countries that have coniferous forests are Northern America, Canada and Russia. In the temperate coniferous forest, they experience the four season: Spring, summer, Autumn, Winter.In the temperate coniferous forest, there is low precipitation and low temperates.

Charateristic of temperate coniferous forest:
(i) structure:
-in the temperate coniferous forest, there are no distinct layers.
-the trees are uniform in height{ 20-30m in height}

-there is a sparse undergrowth as there is a continuous canopy layer. this prevent sunlight from reaching the forest floor. undergrowth consist of mosses and lichens as not many trees or species can survive the low precipitation or low temperatures.

(ii) leaves

-the leaves are evergreen. the trees retain the leaves so when the temperature is 6 degrees of above at any time of the day, they would be able to photosynthesize and make food.

-the leaves have small, needle-like leaves with thick waxy cuticles to prevent or to reduce the amount of water loss during transpiration.

(iii) branches and barks
-the branches are flexible. this prevents the snow from ammunulating on the trees.
-the barks are thick to protect itself from the harsh climate or from the cold winter.
-some trees are conical in shape. this will ensure that the trees will sway with the strong wind instead of toppling over.

(iv) flowers
- in the coniferous forest, they bear cones.
-cones can be male of female.
-male produces pollen grain

(v) roots
-trees have shallow, spreading roots.
-when the ice melts into water, with shallow spreading roots, the trees can absorb the water.

A day late stuffs.
Sounds like the song by Anberlin.
Ohwell, gonna go have dinner already. ciaos ! (:

Geography part I

2009-09-10T17:56:00.002+08:00

Tropical Rainforest:

Found in 0 degrees North to 10 degrees North, 0 degrees South to 10 degrees South.There is high rainfall and high temperate all year round in the tropical rainforest.Examples of tropical rainforest: Amazon basin, Congo basin

The five layers of the tropical rainforest:
(a) emergent
- Very tall trees { 30-50m in height }
- have very thick, straight trunks
-above the canopy layer

(b) canopy
-Trees are 15-30m in height
-wide umbrella shape crowns which interlock one another,
- in the Tropical rainforest, there is a continuous canopy layer
-Prevent sunlight from reaching lowers layers such as undergrowth

(c) understorey
-Trees are usually 5-15m in height
-They are oval-shaped crowns that grows in between gaps of the canopy layer
-Very often, they are the young trees of the canopy or emergent.

(d) shrubs
-Trees are often 6m in height
-They are mostly woody plants and sapling trees

(e) undergrowth
-due to the lack of sunlight reaching the floor of the tropical rainforest, there is a sparse undergrowth.

Characteristic of the Tropical Rainforest:
(i) leaves

-the leaves in the tropical rainforest are large and board to absorb maximum sunlight.
-the leaves have waxy surface and they have waxy drip tips to allow water to 'run off' and to prevent water to collect on the surface of the leaves, it also prevents bacteria growth.
-the leaves in the tropical rainforest are evergreen due to the high rainfall and high temperate throughout the year. there is not need to shed their leaves.

(ii)Branches and Trunks/Barks
-the barks of the trees in the tropical rainforest are thin and smooth.
-there is no need for any protection from the heat or dryness as there is high rainfall throughout the year
-the branches are found in the top 1/3 of the trees as not a lot of sunlight is able to reach to the lower layers of the forest.

(iii)Flower and fruits
-flowers and fruits in the tropical rainforest bear all year round as there is high rainfall all year around
-As the air under the canopy layer is still, it is hard for wind pollination to occur.
-Therefore, Flowers or fruits have to be colorful or sweet scented to attract insects for insect pollination.

(iv) Roots
-Trees in the tropical rainforest have buttress roots{ especially for trees in the emergent layer}
-Buttress roots support the great weight of the trees
-shallow and spreading roots to absorb nutrients that are on the surface of the soil.

Tropical monsoon forest:

They are found in 10degrees north to 23 1/2degrees north and also found in 10degrees south to 23 1/2degrees south. In the tropical monsoon forest, they have distinct wet and dry seasons{ monsoon seasons}.examples of countries that experiences the monsoon season are India, Thailand, Bangladesh, Myanmar, Cambodia and Northern Australia

Southwest monsoon season{from June to September}

From June to September, Countries in the Northern hemisphere is experiencing Summer whereas countries in the Southern hemisphere is experiencing winter. In summer, hot air rises this would result in a low air pressure. In winter, the air tends to "sink" which would result in a higher air pressure. winds travel from a region with high air pressure to a region with low air pressure. The Southeast monsoon winds start from Northern Australia. it will travel along the Indian ocean. at the Indian ocean, hot air rises. the wind will pick up water vapour as it travels along the Indian Ocean. Due to Earth rotation, the winds would be deflected at the equator and the winds would travel as Southwest monsoon winds which would bring a lot of rain to countries in the Northern hemisphere.

Northeast monsoon season{from october to january}

From october to january, countries in the Northern hemisphere is experiencing winter whereas countries in the Southern Hemisphere is experiencing summer. In summer, how air rises this would result in a low air pressure. In winter, the air tends to "sink" which would result in a higher air pressure. Winds travel from a region with high air pressure to a region wtih low air pressure. The northeast monsoon winds starts from the northern hemisphere. The wind would travel along the Indian ocean. At the Indian ocean, hot air rises. The wind will pick up a lot of water vapour as it travels along the Indian ocean. Due to the Earth's rotation, the winds would be deflected at the Equator and the winds would travel as Northwest winds which would bring a lot of rain to Northern Australia.

Characteristics of the tropical monsoon forest:
(i) leaves
-the leaves have a waxy surface to reduce transpiration loss.
-the leaves have waxy drip tip to allow water to "run off" and to prevent water to collect on the leave surface and to prevent bacteria growth.
-the leaves are deciduous. trees would shed their leaves during the dry season and the leaves would grow back quickly during the wet season.
-some plants have bamboo leaves{ small } to reduce transpiration loss.

(ii) branches and barks/trunks
- the barks are thick and coarse to protect itself from the heat and the dryness during the dry season
-it to also to protect itself from the extreme heat during natural forest fires
- branches are found in the middle of the trees as sunlight is able to reach the lower parts of the trees due to the discontinuous canopy layer.

(iii) flower and fruits
-the plants on bear flowers and fruits during the dry season.

(iv) roots
- they have deep roots that would tap on underground water during the dry season when there is little water avaliable.
-the roots anchor firmly in the soil

(v) diversity

The tropical monsoon forest is less dense as compared to the tropical rainforest. the trees in the tropical monsoon forest do not grow very close to one another as compared to the tropical rainforest. the tropical monsoon forest do not have a continuous canopy layer as the crowns do not interlock with one another. this results in an open canopy and this will allow sunlight to reach the lower layers of the forest.during the dry season, the tropical monsoon forest looks very sparse. however, during the wet season, the tropical monsoon forest looks like the tropical rainforest

Continueing part II later (: this recap method is so fun :D ciaos !

Thrown,

2009-09-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

Thrown into the depths of dejection, again.

SS

2009-09-02T22:43:00.004+08:00

Its quite ironic that i said im gonna ignore my ss cause i would fall asleep.
but here i am, mugging my ass off, panicking like mad.
&i'll be back later at 4.30am.
ohmygod, thats ironic!

Editted on 3rd september, 2009 at 10.42pm.
i actually type every thing out for SS venice but i was lazy to post. it's over anyway (;
&I would not say it was bad. it was pretty alright (:

Hope Amaths will turn out alright tomorrow too.
Gonna wake up early again to study later. (;
&happy birthday dingdong ! (;

Ciaos !

9 different emotions,

2009-08-29T13:26:00.002+08:00

I think this picture is the funniest picture in my entire com.
I cant remember who took it.
found it in C's phone during the last trip to Terminal3.
Omg, i look retarded. hahaha !

Gonna add a few new songs to my playlist.(:
Maybe blog tonight or later after tuition and revision.
Ciaos (;

Tomorrow

2009-08-28T22:38:00.003+08:00

Blog tomorrow. ive so much to say, but things that are said can never be taken back.
i need to think and sleep. above that, ive to study. \;

Ciaos.

Lady luck,

2009-08-25T19:54:00.003+08:00

Lady luck's on my side today(:
Im not smart, just that luck's on my side today.
Amaths test was lucky cause i didnt study.
Focus-d everything on bio last night.
Amaths mock exam was quite alright except for the linear law that i completely black out.

Myint's eye bags are super scary. O.O
Things to do: mountainous
no of days to prelim: 8.
Ive to be a superwoman from now on.

time check,

2009-08-24T20:46:00.002+08:00

Time check: 8.50pm.

Ive three hours before i need to land. loads to do. a lot to revise.

motivation level: quite alright.

I was taken aback when i realised the war is nowhere near over,this is just the beginning.The worst has yet to come.

Migraine

2009-08-22T19:40:00.000+08:00

It looks like, we're preparing for a war.
One that cant be stopped by others but only by the both of us.

Caught UP today.
Sadly, i dont know whats gotten into me, wasnt really enjoying the movie.
I mean, the movie's great.
just wasnt enjoying myself.
I think thats thanks to migraine.

yes, you heard me. migraine.
Im starting to suspect i have migraine.
yes sayang, i know. everyone will say " huh, so young. where can have migraine one"
But since yesterday morning, was feeling this a sharp pain in my head.
no, i dont have brain concussion.
just pain in the head. sorry to those ive offended yesterday, my head was really going haywire.
so wasnt in the best condition to help anyone or talk.
Myint offered me panadol for headache, but i refused{ as always }.
Hate panadol, it kills your braincells you know.
I cant afford to lose any braincells now.
but on the other hand, the pain is really killing me.
&if this continues, im starting to worry about my maths and science papers/revision.
ohnoes, can whatever thats causing the pain just go away.
It was hard to own that amaths paper just now.
the pain in the head, cold classroom. though i owned the paper.
but it was tough. very very tough.

maybe i should sleep longer tomorrow.
alright, gonna have dinner and study a bit of bio.
hope it works. ciaos!

Moon's moon

2009-08-19T22:50:00.000+08:00

Oh.my.God.

It is really true. we reap what we sow.
All the endless tuitions, hardwork and effort for 4years, all paid off !
From my 4/100 in sec1 { a horrible red marked F9 which was an eyesore}
To my O level grade of __!
I AM OVER THE MOON'S MOON'S MOON'S MOON'S MOON ! :D
&to hear those words from my chinese tutor,
it was really all worth it.
Waking up early at 8.30 am and doing chinese till 12noon on sundays.
Reading all those chinese newspapers and watching the news,
everything ! oh.my.God.

Im still amazed with my results.
Best results ever for MT. (:
Now im even more motivated to study.
go yeesuan! (:

1001

2009-08-18T21:05:00.003+08:00

Standing here in the rain, i need to know if it's over.

All of us need 1001 reminders to finally accept the truth.
The plain truth that have been standing right in front of us, all along.

&J, sometimes it good to be a loner. trust me.
&now, i cant seem to breathe.

Truth,

2009-08-17T20:58:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be a better day.
Sometimes, you think about something that already happened. something from the past. something from the past and it's now a memory. Sometime, you just wish that moment could last a little longer.

But like what E said, we dont live for memories from the past. but we live for what memories that the future could bring.

but i'll be truthful and say,
i wish that moment could last a little longer.

I'm not losing,

2009-08-15T19:52:00.000+08:00

All of a sudden, i feel so small.
I feel so lag.
I feel so dumb.
I feel so so so dumb.

With prelims less than 3weeks or maybe2,
im this unprepared.
&especially for music, i feel very irritated with myself.
Pratice for 2hours everyday, keep playing and practicing the piece. working on my phrasing.
everything. still, it sounds like stupid. what the heck is wrong with me.
I pity myself{ Sorry Lifecoach}, for being born with short fingers and a small hand
that i can only hit 7notes most. which is LESS THAN AN OCTAVE ! like what the hell.
&all pieces for higher grade, okay. even for grade 6 pieces, there are notes hitting an octave apart.
Im pathetic.

The only good thing that happened today was i owned the amaths practice paper.
Physics was, speechless. i really need to get myself in it.

yes yeesuan. you dont wanna lose to anyone.
thats the spirit. 101%. yes. thats the spirit, 101%.
you know your targets, 5distinctions.
Yes, you were able to meet your Midterm targets.
Make this no different from midterms.
Yes yeesuan. you dont wanna lose to anyone.

Counting,

2009-08-12T19:58:00.002+08:00

No Frisbee today );
Thanks ah Gav.

Still counting. and today was really really boring.
no results till next wednesday.
This is getting really boring.
Tomorrow's chem prac test & bio prac again.
*yawns*

All of it cant be described.

Jumbo \:

2009-08-11T19:17:00.002+08:00

I'm a wee bit irritated right now.
okay, scratch that.
Im super irritated right now.
I wont say who, what, when, how and why.
but man, im pissed. Geeeez !

&Thankgod im not caught in anymore of bitching 'round.
Okay, maybe i am bitching right now.
but not in circles of bitching here and there.

Okay, *calm down* whooosh.
Day's boring. E's sick. takecare and drink more water jumbo (:
Im pretty happy with my emaths mock exam marks ((;
I think im losing touch with physics.
THAT IS SUPERRRRRRRRR BAD. i have to stop being complacent and start being an idiot.
must mug mug mug.

Results for O level mt is out tomorrow {so ive heard}
Not gonna pray mine is gonna turn out great, because
what was done over the past 2months ago cant be undone right now.
unless they're still doing the necessary moderations or whatever to the bell curve :D
nah, just hope what ive done then was enough to reach my target (:

okay, really got to go. gonna be a busy week
Ciaos !

Different ,

2009-08-08T20:25:00.002+08:00

Like what others always say,
I wont understand.
Im different.

The fact im born in a happy family with a happy life,
makes me different from the rest.
you know, how stupid does that sounds?
super stupid.

That was going through my head for the past few months.
&it still is.
but no matter what, for all i care, im thankful to have a family like this.

Elevator,

2009-08-08T12:21:00.003+08:00

This feels like shit.
No popcorn. no potato chips. no roti prata. no pasta. no coke.
only vitamins, medicine, porridge.
omg, this feels like some living hell.
no shopping, no towning, no going out. im really depressed );

I wish my lift would come someday.with the correct person inside.

Ciaos, off to have lunch and eat medicine.

Missing,

2009-08-07T18:01:00.003+08:00

Really missed out everything today. (oh bugger)
Gosh,i sound like some British.
who knows, if i sound more like a British during the O level English oral,
i might do well. (thats wishful thinking)

Damn, the fever's going up again.
At this rate, im more worried about whether my brain would be damaged.
(exaggerating)
but i am, really worried about things right now.
hope my paper later will turn out fine.
&pray that my brain is still working and functioning like before.

Mark Ruffalo is so hawt. Alex Winzenread is so cute. Topher Grace is so handsome. Chace Crawford is so omg (: &did i mention that someone looks likes a baby at the hospital ? i think only someone knows about it. (joke)

Ciaos, i think ive to take temp. again.

It came back,

2009-08-06T18:54:00.002+08:00

It came back.

&I was actually joking about it a few days back. it actually happened.
i wish i never said anything at that time.
This really really really sucks.

Phobia,

2009-08-05T21:28:00.002+08:00

I THINK IVE A ERGOPHOBIA.
( what the heck )

I think im just being lazy with work.
ah, shit. this is dumb.
Disappointed with amaths.
hope physics will turn out fine ( i really doubt so )
you can ask me why, it's quite dumb actually.

Ive so much air inside my head.
&most of it, i myself dont even understand.
*cries for a deeper understanding* );

I wish,

2009-08-04T20:36:00.003+08:00

I wish..
(a) to become smarter
(b) become a blondie (sticks tongue out)
(c) stop being a dumbdumb
(d) jerks could be more un-jerk. ( what the heck )
(e) Dont think about dingsdongs
oh, to tell you ( f ) you, for trying to pretend as if nothing happened.

Okay, i think it wasted about like 5mins of my precious time.
but, what done cant be undone.
just have to wish&hope some dumbdumb realise something dumb& be a smart ass by not falling into it. (:

Emaths mock exam, nice. (:
Getting amaths back tomorrow hopefully.
hope it's alright. *keeping my fingers crossed!*
oh, there's training tomorrow (:

Gallery

2009-08-03T20:31:00.002+08:00

Chem test was alright i guess. SS was funny. (:
Thanks E for the goodluck wishes&being so KIND to remind me about my geog test.
hahahahah, im just kidding (; thanks eh (:

Kept listening to this song : Gallery - Mario Vazquez
The story of the song is quite sweet (:
I drove them away.I drove her away.I drove all of the away.&the worst part of realising all these things is the part when the truth is i drove the only one that i loved.

P.S i love you

2009-08-02T17:10:00.000+08:00

Really touching movie. watched this over lunch.
The guy is so sweet.
He worries about how his wife's life would be after his death.
&Helps her along the way.
I think i should read the book (:
After Os. i will (:

Alrighty, should continue with chemistry and ss.
Ciaos! (:

If anyone gets it,

2009-08-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

Somehow, somehow, somehow.

Three perpetual words, that says a thousand messages.
Interesting eh? somethings are for me to know, & you to find out (;
That yeesuan is back to her study mood.
*wooo*

Mummy promised about vivo soon (:
Great, my sister got the flu virus from me. *guiltey*
I think im gonna order Mac delivery tomorrow (:
okay, i think i should crash.
ciaos ! (;

Scream

2009-07-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

OH.MY.FORKING.SHIT.

i can just scream any minute. ohmyshit, i feel so angry !
It's almost as if anger has gotten the better of me.
it's like, ARGHGHHHHHHHH!

i swear, anyone that talks to me, asking me about things.
if im super super angry, i'll just scream.
i dont know what the forking heck is wrong with me.
i think im going through PMS if my sources are true about PMS.
which sucks to the max, cause ive stuffs to do !
&I CANT POSSIBLY PMS NOW ! IT'S LIKE, FORKING WRONG TIMING ! ):
seee how angry i am.

The worst thing is i dont forking know what's making me very angry.
i feel so vulnearable, so angry , and like as if im going insane.
i forking mad.
fork.fork.fork.fork.FORK!

I wish to go to the beach now and scream like super mad.

In the speed of light,

2009-07-30T18:33:00.000+08:00

Wow, everything is like, flying in the speed of light.
school, studies, birthdays, shopping, school, studies, PIANO! {yeah, completely fast}
everything.
I mean, when was the last time you{the reader} ever sat down and reflect your actions.
some might say, last night. past few hours ago. previous hour. or even, last year during new year's eve.

I have to admit that i agree to what my piano teacher said.
why are there lesser singaporeans getting into schools like NAFA or Laselle?
Because singaporeans are too busy studying, doing homework, go for cca, revision and so on.
We have all the talent we need.
But no one recognize those talents because we think that people doing arts, music wont go far in life.
We spend too much time working on our flaws because 'they' say thats the only way to survive.
if we keep focusing on our flaws, arent we forgetting our strengths?

Okay, that was some random paragraph.
Okay, like what i said.
piano was completely fast. my fingers are not used to playing that section slowly anymore.
it's mad ! the moment i play slow, the next i'll run like mad.
like you cant stop it anymore !
oh.my.gawds. it was some nice shit, but somehow i think i have it make it work.
Really got to work it man. Jazz too. loving it, but needa work really hard.

Physics test was so screwed. i think if i can pass, i should be thankful.
Good job ah yeesuan. overwrite again. now, you never do finish, lost your 6marks.
well done ah. completely disappointed.

Amaths was nice(: i was stunned the paper was not as tough as i thought it would be.
Bio food test was also, sigh. mad mad mad.
Flu's really bad ); and i should have stayed at home. shucks.
okay, im getting my digestive biscuits and im off to study. ciaos ! (;

short lived,

2009-07-29T21:00:00.000+08:00

It's about a summer love that is short lived but we kind of , hold on to.

Was in a dilemma this morning at 6am.
Woke up as per normal. was feeling super sick all thanks to flu and cough.
Sorethroat was there. but after drinking some water, it was alright.
talked to mum and decided to call Ms Lee instead and seek her opinion about this.
So in the end, stayed at home { like what she told me to } and rest.

Slept till late, like 12plus. and still woke up feeling sick.
Visited the doc at around 3plus after lunch.
I was shocked by the doctor twice.
Went home and read physics.
On the way back, told dad to stop at the carpark near the HDB flats.
was hoping to see npcc peeps.
in the end, saw ncc peeps instead.
E look like some old old old old uncle with that wooden stick.
then he like smile to himself. was quite funny (:

The amazing thing, was i was unnoticed when all these happened.
I dont think son saw me too.
ohwell! so fun (:

Okay, i got to study. cheers to food test! { =,= }

Sick sick go away, come again another day.

2009-07-28T18:32:00.000+08:00

Omg, really sicky.
I used 1{ almost finishing the second one} box of tissue.
&im still finding it hard to breathe { all thanks to those things stuck at you-know-where }

Ohman, why this week. test week, yet get this kind of shit.
Rawrs ! last night was horrible ! );
Completely H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E! ):
I hope everything gonna be alright tomorrow.
Gonna go training (:

&I want my subway ): Laogong, you better go i tell you.
If not, Me&R skin you alive. *muahahaha! evil laughters*
That sounded super retarded. ohwells !

Guess im gonna go read up on physics.
*ahhhhhhhhh-chu!* );

Crazy for you,

2009-07-26T14:16:00.002+08:00

Was watching this in the morning while having breakfast.
Mark Ruffalo is cute (;

hah, thats really random. i wanna watch a lot of movies.
I wanna go shopping. *pouts*
Controlling for the sake of Prelims and Os.
I cant wait to eat subway with laogong and R (;
Tomorrow's the start of week5.
Week10 is prelim.
Wow, half a term is gone.
Really need to be serious with things already.

Ohyeah, but SY. i will still watch " My sisters keeper" no matter when :P
okay, maybe i'll watch a movie after my revision and homework. {hehehes!}
&can you believe it that the song in this post, was actually from Madonna? (:

My girls (L)

2009-07-24T22:39:00.004+08:00

Kyoshu(; not very intersting, but we were terrorising the place
{not literally} :D
Definitely look forward the end of year overseas trip(:
Love you girls ! (L)

&gosh, you really know where to start, fixing a broken heart.

Keep it to yourself,

2009-07-18T20:50:00.003+08:00

Important lesson ive learnt so far in my life: Keep comments to yourself.

no matter what, just keep them to yourself.
It just takes 1 comment to ruin a relationship.
It just takes 1 comment to frame a friend.
It just takes 1 comment to take smash one's confidence.
It just takes 1 comment to make a person cry.
It just takes 1 comment to change a person's life.
It just takes 1 comment to kill a person's spirit.
It just takes 1 comment to feel alone.
It just takes 1 comment to change someone's perspective.
It just take that freaking comment, to change everyone's life.

I think ive said enough. change or not. up to yourself*.

Smoother ,

2009-07-16T18:12:00.002+08:00

Half blood prince's out (:
I dont care, im gonna book that stupid tickets on sunday. :D
*exciteds*

Piano was awesome. i love my new teacher (:
Hope things will be smoother from now on. &i dont think thats an english word (;

Then and now,

2009-07-15T19:08:00.003+08:00

I still love this picture. (:
I remembered, i was happy that time.
very, very happy.
&the light was perfect when this picture was taken. (L)

I dont know why, i still hang it there.
It's nothing in particular.Just dont want to let the memories be forgotten ?
Hmph. when i wrote all those there, i was just putting a strong front.

&You* really look like someone.
Someone i know, but i cant remember who.
It feels like, ive seen you before and ive known you before this.
It feels like it.
Sorry, if ive conveyed a wrong message. i was just stunned/shocked when i saw you.

Time to study. ciaos ! (:

I love my "no-life" life (:

2009-07-14T18:54:00.003+08:00

School's normal.
Dodo's the best.
Ahhao's blur.
Laopo's "gahhhh".
Hubby's very nice.
Shiwei's cheerful.
Zhehuan's Gay. (opps)
Zahin's bimbotic.
Myint's back( smiling super big )
Marcus's nonsense.

okay, im typing weird thing. but thats basically how things are (:
&Yes ahhao&wife, im happy that dodo exist (: really, thankful and happy.

YeeSuan:
Loves physics
Loves amaths
Loves chemistry
Loves biology
Loves studying
Loves talking chinese ( wrong-chinese ; haha, what a joke :D )
Loves Dodo
Loves MT oral conversation ( laughing with the examiner = fun :D )

I have no life , i know .(: to love studying and all those. but what to do ? okay, i wanna go study. ciao ! (:

Tomorrow,

2009-07-10T20:12:00.002+08:00

Till tomorrow.

stop talking. stop everything.

*screams&headache*

randomly,

2009-07-09T17:46:00.002+08:00

"Feeling better today, much better today.feeling so much better"- Neyo; Better today

SPA skill3 was quite nice(: didn't exactly write nonsense, at least i did make sense except for the drawing of the retort stand. that really looks dumb |: ohwells ! it's a good experience? (: I'm not making sense, but really. who cares. to be random, i think that's my forte.

Being focused, focused, focused.i guess, I'm the heartless one. then again, all you can do is hope for is to start over. but i guess not. okay, I'm speaking gibberish. btw, i absolutely love the photo above (: taken during the council camp by Mich ! (: I hope we can have another long holiday together and being crazy and mad and don't give much a damn about it. &man, i wish we could actually, all 20+ of us, work for the same company at a IT fair. how cool is that (: really hoping we could :D

&Ahgong, you're still oldddd. hahaha, it's okay that your eyes aren't sharp. i mean, this kind of things. uncontrollable! RIGHT ? :D hahahaha ! meet up soon alrighty (; &Yeah, i wanna&intending to travel around during the 4months long break. Whitewater rafting, kayaking, Ubin-ing, trekking,backpacking. Australia's beaches, Ruins of Pompeii{ i really really really wish dad's fine with it}, Waters of Venice, Statues of Rome, The Vatican Square ,Pizzas from Italy.& of course, Uncle's David's place (: i miss the states and deer hunting without a gun(:

Alrighty, off to do maths. ciaos ! (;

Ignorance is bliss,

2009-07-08T19:00:00.003+08:00

What ive learnt from ms lee (: okay, got to get back to skill3 ); ciaos ! (:

Opportunities that are hard to come by,

2009-07-06T17:51:00.002+08:00

I just realised ive SCI video to edit, compre, O level music coursework draft and revision to do. &thinking of it now, it's quite a bit. Ohwell, slow and steady i guess. (:

Thanks to sleeping late and waking up at 1pm today, i wasted 3hours of my normal time to do revision and everything mentioned above. ohwell, opportunities like this{ to sleep till 1pm} comes by hard especially in times like this when all graduating students are really doing solid revision. DSA started not long ago and it's still going on. Guess im not taking part in DSA after much consideration. ohwell ! life goes on (:

QingNing introduced me her piano teacher last night, &im super over the moon i tell you. E gets what i mean :D its not finalised but im still over the moon ! i mean, ive asked quite a few friends to introduce their piano teachers. but most of them just told me, no. without even giving me their number or asking.*pft* so yeah. QingNing heard about what happened* and she immediately gave me his number. omggggggggggs, thanks babe ! (; i was literally jumping around my bed and going high :D it has been almost 2years since ms sharon stop teaching and me without a single help with music.

editted at 6.21pm:
omggggggg, it's finalised. IVE A PIANO TEACHER !!! :D &can you believe it ? she's a graduate from nafa ! *screams* diploma in piano performance :D though not QingNing's teacher, but i hope this one would work out (: yayeyayeyayeyayeyayeyayeyayeyayeyayeyaye ! im still over the moon (: okayyyy, off to practise piano. *still smiling* :D

Working hard,

2009-07-03T20:55:00.004+08:00

Overly sad now, because the Youth Olympics topic came out for today's oral. dammit. i wanted that to come out for my oral. ohwells ! two topics out, many more to go. tsk !

finally, im in the studying mood. and finally, im starting to finish a chapter a day for physics assesment. was super laid back during the holidays and realised i only did 2 pages of the assesment book for structured and they're from the topic: kinematics. -,- really fruitful holiday. hahaha ! but i guess, i had my fun over the long school vacation and i guess im recharged already? (:

I really need to work on music, geog, ss and english.
&definitely, Amaths and physics.
Last 3-4 months to reap what i sow.
i must reap a lot of thing . lol ! is that what reap means?
I think im using it in the wrong context. hahahaha !
Guess, i really gotta work work work work hard from now on.
&i guess, i just got to stop bothering about those stuff. cant believe there was such a side.. shesh!

2009-06-30T17:16:00.002+08:00

It's quite funny sometimes you think back and recall the things you've said and the things you were thinking at the point of time and now, you're thinking otherwise. it's almost contradicting but somehow possible? yeah. God give everyone the opportunity to see someone's other side or even someone's true colors. somethings that were left unsaid or undone, might never be done in this lifetime anymore. like they say, opportunity don't come knocking on your door twice. it's so true. even if it did, it's a lie. it's just a lie in disguise. trust me, it really is. &no matter how much sincerity or whatever it was for the second time, it's a lie. really, a stupid idiotic meaningless childish irritating lie.

Lost my drive for music now. Maybe my passion or my 'love' for music is only to the extend of a hobby, a leisure activity, something that i can do when i have free time. &maybe,I'm just don't have that music genes inside of me. that sounds terribly odd and wrong. but yeah, the meaning's is just that.

Now, im too scared to fall. and somehow, i guess im a soreloser? is that what you call it ? &somehow, i just dislike the feeling of not being the best. yeah, im a sucker. really big time, competitive asshole. sheeeeeesh. looking at who was 4years ago, i wasnt this competitive at all. i was completely happy and carefree. looking at me now, im so competitive. somehow, i dont even seem to do anything about it. am i in the wrong ? just trying my best to be at the top? ive nothing to count on except for working hard to be the top.

Okay, musis studies music studies music studies. im so envious people have other people to guild them. somehow, most of the things i have and can ever count on, is myself. no one is there to help me. &every step i climb to the top, is draining my energy because ive no one to guild me there.

Physics books,

2009-06-27T22:04:00.002+08:00

Wow, O level Mt oral is in like, less than 1week or so. how time flies, before i know it, it's already the start of july. i agree with sabrina. when she said that time would fly super fast, before we know it, it's the start of 2o1o. gosh, i think i shouldnt even think so far. just think about O levels would do. sorta liked that 1week temp physics teacher at tuition. at least he kept me awake and i did think and understood something. the previous one, was really 'on my own' ! \:

Manage to borrow physics novels and those physics books. they're like, freaking awesome. hahahaha ! especially the one that's titled " the elegant universe". man, the book drive me crazy ! *boooms baby* did you know that there are 4elements in the world namely: Earth,Fire,Water and Air. and did you know that the falling apple experiment, is actually about the earthy and watery element in the apple trying to find it's natural position in the Earth ? hah, sounds odd and a little weird. but the book slowly talks more about it. they talked about the Antimatter too. about Quantum Mechanics and all. omgggggg, i was reading it yesterday. i couldnt help but think about it the whole night. so decided to borrow it. thank God the book is still there :D i sounded like some Singaporean-Kia-Su. (: Quarks, Top,Bottom, Positrons and electrons. i was amazed by the book ! borrowed another book titled : The infinite cosmos. a book about cosmology and the infinite universe. something i noticed in all the books ive read about physics and all, is they kept mentioning about "the big bang". yeah, i read in another book about astronomy on how the Earth's moon is formed. The Earth's moon was formed when a gigantic rock hit the Earth's surface and it cause the rock fragments to form a circular ring around the Earth. the rock fragments started to collect over time and it formed the moon. Veryyyyyyyy interesting (:

Okay, got to go revise on lenz's law and farady's law of induction and amaths. \: i hate proving and trigo. shucks ! ):

Brought this upon myself,

2009-06-25T18:23:00.002+08:00

I brought this upon myself. serve me right. dammit.

shag now, &i guess it's all thanks to sleeping at 3am last night.waking up at 7.35am this morning. Never do that kid. it's pure madness.Because the next day when you go back to school, you feel tired like what the heck & you'll wanna stretch yourself every 10mins or so. hahaha, the stretching part is applicable for me. (; but for the feeling tried , it's really true. try it if you dont believe me (: but i really wouldnt advise you at all to even try it. just accept the fact(:

Ive been procrastinating with the SCI video for 2weeks{as of yesterday} since ive started work during the start of the 2nd week of my dearest June holidays. &ive finally finished the other half of the video last night at 2.15am. man, i think something will go wrong if i keep sleeping this late. tsk tsk ! but how shag im feeling right now, i guess i bought this upon myself. i was the one who chose to procrastinate. i was the one who chose to have fun first. i was the one who whose to ignore the video since i thought and assumed 'i had more than enough time' to get it done. so that left me with no option but to burn midnight oil last night. well, i chose to watch "Transformers2: Revenge of the Fallen" yesterday at 5.30pm & the show ended at around 8pm. and by the time i get serious and started doing the video, it was 10.30pm. yeah, well done yeesuan. you bought this upon yourself.

Procrastination isnt a qualities of a leader. and that definitely not good at all. i mean, it's a super duper wuper bad habit. and somehow, though i seem like im bragging, im not. i mean, when you go out to work in the future, procrastination would even cause you your job which you depend on for income. and who knows, maybe the entire family depends on your job for the monthly expenses.

Man, i should really start to discipline myself. for my future. for everything. arghhhhhh. tired. okay, i guess im gonna really crash early tonight.

HEADLINES !

2009-06-21T21:46:00.003+08:00

I.Cant.Believe.This.

PRINCETON has a plasma physics laboratory ! *screams*

I mean, MAJOR HEADLINES ! it has been there for quite some time { since 1961 as a matter of a fact} but i mean, first time hearing it hello. omgs ! everything there = AWESOME ! for some geeky nerd like me. omggggggs ! *over the moon* E found it very interesting too :D though i know, it isn't exactly interesting for him (: C'mon E. you know you don't exactly like physics and you prefer _______? (: hahaha, knowing you for quite some time i do know a bit about you eh :D

Went to most of the I.L.U websites and profiles. don't really understand why the quiz said I'm suitable for Columbia's. pretty odd. now I'm very very very fascinated with princeton. :D hahahaha ! But their annual fee = WOOOOOH ! it's really the 'bomb'! yeahh, in my parents and my own pocket. well, work hard and hope i'll be able to make it in this little red dot's own. (:

i guess i really have a big dream/ambition (: cheers to dreams ! (:

Messed up,

2009-06-19T23:56:00.003+08:00

They say that people messed up sometimes. And they say that people would do anything to undo whatever they've done and do it again. sometimes,i feel that way too. but come to think of it, will i be able to accept things the other way around that easily ? and even if i did, what price do i need to pay ? would that be worth it ?

i know as time passes by, readers are slowly getting sick of reading the word " price" in my texts and posts. but hey, i mean everything you want in life, has it's own price to pay. like, you're madly in love of your best friend's boyfriend. and you want him to be yours and not your best friend's. in this case, the price you have to pay in doing so is ruining your friendship with your best friend. another example: you want to steal your brother's favourite watch which your mom gave him for his sweet 16th birthday. the price you have to pay in doing so is your pride, integrity, your relationship with your brother.

frankly speaking, i've messed up a few things in life. not now, but previously and who knows most probaby i'll mess up a few other things in life in the future. &everytime that happens, all i ever did was just sleep. not the best remedy but a short and fast way to escape reality for a moment or two. i am clear of the the things ive messed up and the price i paid. and how much i dread it, but all i can ever do now is wait and pray? yeah. wait and pray that as time passes by, my second chance would come and that is when i'll start over with life. not reliving my life, but starting anew somewhere else.

i hate to do that, moving to somewhere else new. migrating to the states when i grow up. go there, make it big in the career field. and hopefully, settling down there. with Globalisation, that would mean brain-drain? yeahhhh. though im not some smartypants that singapore needs. what i meant was that im not some important person that even if i leave here, it'll effect the economy big time or what. but somehow, it's feel it's leaving who you are behind and try searching for who you can be somewhere else. only the "leaving who you are behind" is the one thats bad. some people did laugh at my plan for life. boring, no-life, yadah yadah. well, thats me. boring, draggy yeesuan(:

I guess, sometimes when you messed up in life, it's either you clean up the messed you've made. or wait for a second chance&start over again. so far in the 16years ive been living on my lovely planet Earth, ive started my life for about 7times? well, here comes the 8th time.

Dance,

2009-06-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

Dance dance dance. what is dance exactly ? &what makes dancers so amazing when they're dancing their routine? Well. Dance is like a form of art. Dancers are like artists&their routines are like the end product of a painting. have you ever seen Picasso break dancing ? no. but he sure know how to make a awesome piece of art. (: &have you seen ballerinas paint the Mona Lisa? no. But they sure know how to make a routine look graceful and elegant to the max. (:

I believe, that dancing is all about expression, moves and perfection. like for break dancing, you don't see them smiling throughout while dancing their routine. the express their comments about their tracks or audience through their dance routines and through their moves. A really awesome dance would be able to be express their feelings and emotions freely through their dance.

Moves. the moves of a dance routine would depends on the piece or song that the dancer is dancing to. A really great dance would be able to adjust or adapt to the different types of ambiance that the piece/song would create. take a ballerina for example. For ballet, the pieces are usually classical and mostly either piano or a short recital piece. for all cases,a great ballet dancer's moves need to, at all times, be as graceful as a swan and it must portray a dance with elegance and poise. A ballet dancer's moves have to be slow, and always bringing a smooth ambiance. Another example would be a break dancer. for breakdancing, the songs selected are usually hiphop with some edits to make the entire song flow with a particular rythm. In this way, the break dancers would be able to do the different type of stunts or moves they've learnt. in break dancing, the moves focus on the rhythm and in most case, it's the 'flow'. Breakdancing would consists more of 'ripples' in their routines and in some routines, the 'robot' techniques to add more colours to their routine. Every type of dance or track, requires the dancer to protray a certain image. Creativity is also an important factor that would affect a dancer's career. what seperates a great dancer and a ordinary dancer is their's creativity on how are they going to protray a certain image with moves that their teachers dont teach them. a dancer can learn how to dance every dance that exists in this world but if they have never invent their own routine, then what difference does that make from the other dancers who have dance all the dances they've learned? sometimes, it's not always about the quantity but the quality of something eh (:

&lastly, Perfection.whats the point of dancing your own routine when you just do it so slipshop? it loses the effect it's suppose to have. man! i mean, think of it. imagine you're choreograph an awesome dance routine. but when you dance that awesome routine super slipshop, then it loses its punch. you can have the best dance routine ever, but you'll never be a great dancer because you didnt perfect that awesome dance routine. And by saying perfection, it means giving it 101% and doing the whole thing properly and perfect.once you've all got that, you're up for almost anything in this career (:

All the above mentioned points are my opinion on if you wanna consider becoming a professional dancer or a great dancer. if you are talking about dancing as a hobby. all you need to do and remember is just to have fun & have the time of your life ! (: just grab a few friends, pick a few hot tracks and start dancing ! you dont even need to go to the dance studio to do that. just do that in your living room or if there's enough space, your own room ! it's normal to go wild with the things you like to do and wanna do. so just heck with all the pride or whatever& just have fun ! (:

Well, wont you look at that. it's 1plus in the morning. &i better hit the hay. cheerios people & will blog about something soon. till then, takecare my lovely readers ! (:

SCI,

2009-06-17T00:15:00.002+08:00

Was watching last year's SCI video. the video of the entire event.
Was completely stunned that my hair was that short .
Gosh, it was madness alright.
&thats not only it, my hair was like CRAZY CURLY MAD AND MESSY.
*smack forehead*
alamak ..

Saw the song the seniors dedicated to mrs rupesh and ms soo.
couldnt understand why then, everyone was crying like mad.
tears came flowing down like some loose and spoilt tap.
just kept flowing and flowing.
I remembered how hard i was trying to hold back my tears.
&at the end when everyone was downstairs getting refreshments,
i couldnt take it. i went up with them and starting crying and hugging them.

I remembered how hard i cried when i hugged Hazel. my first buddy, first senior friend i made when i first enter council.She taught me things that no one else did. &she was there for me. even though we didnt speak much after i've new friends. but still, we would say hello and all when we see each other. To me, she's a role model. she's the model student for her batch (: she is too, my role model. she was a professional person who would handle situations just right and she never fails to push others to keep going on. &when everyone's feeling down, she'll smile brightly and tell everyone that it's alright. we can make it. we must not give up. when i hugged her, all the memories of who i was before came back. a worthless kid,causing trouble to people around me. making a fool of myself when i could have been better back then. She didnt give up on me. she tried to persuade me. she motivated me, helped me and maybe she defended me when i couldnt stand up by myself. Hazel, you're one person i'll never forget in my secondary school life.

i wonder how this year's SCI's going to turn out.
*ponders*
okay, change subject.
back to our 'fav' subject and so far, the one ive been rambling about: Love.

love. love. love. love. complicated thing. i once told someone: never follow my footsteps if it's about love. im not very successful in love. COMPLETELY unsuccessful as a matter of a fact.trust me. For all the relationships ive been in, it's either:
(a) the guy's a jerk or
(b) me putting my heart more in work and studies.
i remembered how much ive hurt someone. how i put my relationship not as a priority and slowly, i started losing the trust and love of the person i love then. when i came to my senses and wanted to put my relationship as a priority, the person walked away. He couldnt trust me anymore. that's situation one.

Situation two was when there's a mixture of the guy being a jerk and me putting my heart more in work and studies. well, blame both parties. but somehow, i just missed those times you held me in your arms and the times we laugh with each other. enjoying each other's company. especially esplanade. i really missed those times. if i ever lose my memories and can only keep one memory. i would choose that memory on the rooftop of esplanade. come to think of it, there were empty promises. like, we'll take pictures and have fun snapping photos. and being together. i still remembered you said we'll last and you'll come over next chinese new year. pft. i saw it through then that something like that, wouldnt happen. &my dream, of you and me in our twenties and travelling around the world as a happy working couple. i guess it was really just a dream.

somehow, im 'holding' onto that dream. hoping that it'll be the dream i dream about every night whenever i close my eyes. still, hoping. for the same dream.

white lie,

2009-06-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

My mama said that happy endings are usually a white lie.
happy endings dont exactly exists in this world.
because when one experience a happy ending,
they'll feel happy at first, but they forgotten the price they 'paid' for the happy ending.

After some time, when they realised the price they've paid,
they start to regret what they've done.
Then the happiness from the happy ending, wont exists anymore.

Really makes me wonder about that. happy endings are so relative. ive always thought it depends on both parties and it'll turn out one{happy ending} if both of them are happy. who knew, there was a different perspective to this. &from my Mama.

To some extent, i find what she said about happy endings is true. remember when i was young, when i foolishly believed those stories like cinderella or snow white ? when your knight in shiny armour would appear and save you and you'll live happily ever after? so far, living about almost 16years in this world, i dont remember anything like that ever happened. i mean, maybe its because im still young and maybe my 'knight in shining armour' might come when im older. but now,i think, teenage love is completely childish. we argue over stupid things and we get hurt so easily. and for what price ? get hurt again ? so that we would find our 'happy ending' at the end of the day ?

Love is something very open. i guess, it's hard to open ones heart maybe it's becuase you had enough 'exposure' to the topic and you dont wish to 'revisit' the topic until you're ready that kind of thing ? i guess so. i dont know and never felt that one's love for someone else can be so strong that even after a long time, you'll still love that person. sometimes, maybe it's because im weird.

i did met a person, whom love this person so much that even after a year later, he/she still loves the other party. i admire the other party so much to have met someone like that. but somehow, somethings that arent meant to be, wont be together in the end.

but somehow, sometimes i do wish that you would be like that person. a person whom i love you and in return, you'll love me back. shower me all the love in the world and we'll just have the time of our life. i did wished that before. i thought you were before. but somehow, i guess im falling in love with the person whom i wanted&wished you could be and not the you in reality. but even though i fallen in love with that person, at the same time i fallen in love with the real you. how funny can love gets eh. well, i suppose all these doesnt matter.

i used to tell this to someone " Let her go. she have already moved on with life and you should too. once you've really moved on with life, you'll never look back. and even if you did look back, your heart will never return to the way it was then. the way you love the person back then" letting something go is easy. forgetting someone isnt that hard either. but trying to make your heart move on, might be a little bit tougher than anyone expected it to be. though ive moved on, somehow memories of you came flowing back to my mind. the times at the swing. when i threw something into the river, when we would walk that long journey after a awesome dinner at prataplace and when we would go to the beach. i really love that night before the camp, at the beach. you took the time out to spend time with me, solely just spending time and enjoying one another's company. when the time, on the esplanade rooftop when you asked and we threw stones. when the time, we started naming buildings are our toilets, cupboards, kitchen and all. when the time, we go to borders or kino to make fun of 'psycology for dummies' and other books. when the time, we'll get pretzels and go to the toyshop at taka and play with all the toys inside. when the time we head to town every saturday evening after my tuition. when the time we would have dinners at NYNY and when my coke float overflow. when the time we went to the singapore river and started saying what if a guy pee-d from the bridge above into the river. when the time you hugged me before i go into my house. when the time during the 10th anniversary full dress rehearsal, you left your phone in my file&your mum called and i ran to give it to you & you hugged me and said you were touched. when the time i skipped tuition and we went to semb beach to hear the ocean breeze and you'll hold my hand while i was in deep thoughts. when the time we laughed at our past and said what an asshole we were back then. when the time, you said next chinese new year you'll come over again like two years ago. when the time, we would laugh at others ____. when the time you were all-pokemon. &when the time, i'd laugh at your childhood pictures and you'll tell me not to. when the time i said you were my motivation to study and you said that i will be yours when school starts for you. and when the time, you asked me out for Valentine's.

Ive always wanted you to come for this year's SCI. to see me perform on stage with my fellow councillors for our sec4 item and i want you to be there sitting at the invited guests and supporting me all the way. i guess, that wasnt going to happen. not fated to happen i suppose. sometimes, i dont know how am i going to response to you on SCI day. i really wonder, be friendly? be bimbotic? or will it be awkward ? i really dont know.

I guess many have mistaken between me & _. we're just close friends. i listen to _ and _ listens to me when i need a listening ear. he watches out for me and i do the same for him. thats all. nevermind, i think i should stop saying all this. bye.

time out ?

2009-06-08T20:45:00.003+08:00

i believed otherwise.
i chose otherwise.
i did otherwise.
thats why, i became otherwise.

life is full of choices. day in and day out, we have to make at least a choice. it might be the most insignificant question like, should i use the washroom ,to the most important question like, will you marry me. The different choices we make, would make us who we are today. a monster? an angel? a goody-two-shoes? a naive kid? everything. it makes us who we are.

sometimes, i feel im very foolish. and at times,too naive or too 'smart' in my opinion. to think things so complicated. my choice then was to study hard and move on with life. with or without people by my side always, wasnt much of a deal. now, looking back. i was foolish. but i'll never regret what ive done.

although i didnt get to experience much of it, at least i got something in return. my results. though it isnt very great or perfect, im satisfied with myself for for the first time, making an effort and taking charge of my own education and finally reaping what i sow. it wasnt what i expected, i expected more. but there was a sense of satisfaction.

All these complicated feelings, are they really necessary? all these arguments, heart talk, jealousy. is it really necessary ? am i trying to be smart once again? there are times i really regret what ive done. but i had to pysco myself saying " your future, this is what you need to do" maybe, im a person who cant multitask very well. to be in love, to be with friends , strive to get good grades &above all things, spend time with family. i wouldnt make it. especially for striving to get good grades. i couldnt. a person has it's own limits. &sometimes in life, you cant be the best in everything. but you can be the best in something. God made us that way. He give and take.

Sometimes, i think of God's plan for all of us is simple. He'll say " give me something and i'll return you something in return". He might give us all the toughest challenges and the hardest decisions, but he know it was necessary for us. I couldnt give my whole heart to you D. I couldnt spend time with you then D. i couldnt. i had to "give & take". &Im sorry , it's us that has to go.

I realised,ive been trying to close myself from love since two years ago. maybe im sick of those non-stop crying at night. crying on the phone at 1am and talking my heart out. J, at one point, i decided to try opening my heart to you, i got back a whole bucket filled with heartache. D, i was hoping things would work out for you and me this time. i guess not. maybe it was you. and partly it was me. when you initiated not staying as it was then, i had to be strong. even though i wasnt, i had to at least act strong. at least act strong in front of you. I had nothing to cling onto. nothing, there for real. i only had _. yet, i chose to let it go. but it taught me a lesson. dont ever be to naive, to believe that something cannot happen twice.

You know, the choices ive made in life so far. it has cost me a lot, but every price paid, had it's own reason and definitely taught me a lesson. if you say regrets, i might have a few. but those things were what that make me strive to be a better person or at least not make the same mistake again.

Wow, ive written quite a lot for today. well, maybe today has been a mad day for me. in so many ways. &maybe, im starting to open up and hopefully stop lying to myself. i guess, i need a time out in terms of this.well, this really is the only place for the escaper to say everything she wants to say. like the name means, escape-r (:

Mad,

2009-06-07T23:23:00.003+08:00

This is awfully odd.

It's like, im waiting for something to happen.
like, im hoping for something to happen.
Am i out of my mind again ?
I must be. yes im mad.

whenever the phone rings, i was hoping it was you.
yes, im mad. shit, im mad.

dilemma. dilemma. dilemma.
How can _ ever accept _? ahhhhhhh, im mad. yes, _ will never accept _ more than what they are now. yeah. correct correct. will never accept.
is this me really falling in love or just me finding someone to be there for me. ))))):

Woken up,

2009-06-06T19:34:00.002+08:00

Found out i was too laid back about life.
dammit. thanks for the wake up call yeah.
i woke up from all the complacency &Came to my senses now.

Happy birthday Jolene(:

2009-06-04T22:57:00.004+08:00

"The truth is, maybe i wanna get caught"

This weekend must take the time out and relax.
Catch up with school work and all.
Man, havent been doing revision.
this is shit, im a loser .\:

Dinner was funny, high and all.
Scrape ice-cream eh :D
&happy birthday my dearest jolene ! (:
You're finally seventeen*echoesMAGAZINE!*
hahaha, that's awfully lame(:

Im heading town with jolene tomorrow.
we're gonna do that madshopping plus get jolene's hair cut ! :D
*muahahahaha!*
hahahah ! i sounded eeeeeeevil :D
&followed by baking & sleepover with movies and popcorn (:
&&&I CAN SLEEP TILL 10AM TOMORROW !
Been going school with a sleepyhead. tsk !

Realised recently, when im smsing at night,
i'll somehow fall asleep suddenly &Im afraid i replied stupid things to people who texted me.
i remembered i replied a teacher a message with so many weird spelling errors &I was completely not making sense in the message. hahahahah !
i scared i reply E with something super funny and no-sense message.
Mannnnn, this is bad.

alrighty, gonna go get some beauty sleep.
needa catch up with my dreams (:
&damn, my dreams are super weird. |:

random(:

2009-06-03T19:51:00.002+08:00

Pictures soon (:
once Naz & ZQ/Mich uploads them :D
&Seeeki too :D

more and more things happening .
&Seeki, i wanna go sakae ! :D this time, at sunplaza lah :D
&&Siying: OKAY LAH ! i give in lah.botanic? (: how come can only go out once ? ):
Baking this friday, i hope hope hope :D
Together with sleepover, I HOPE HOPE HOPE HOPE ! :D

random thoughts:
man, im really worried about you, you and you ): *sigh*
even more random thoughts:
Am i trying to pretend as if like nothing happened and as if i ____ _____. what am i thinking man. im out of my mind. i need beach.

&Im random. i wanna eat butter popcorns,nutella + bread, garlic spread+bread, fish&chips,salmon at NYNY, fresh salmon at sakae sushi and finally waffles+ ice cream &chocolate fondue at gelare . man, those are the bomb yeah ! im some fatass dumbdumb that enjoys food :D
&psssssst ! i nearly fall asleep today during english . O.O the fan was blowing directly at me okayy. (:

High (;

2009-06-02T17:59:00.002+08:00

Currently holding this glass bottle with some really awesome drink inside.
Currently high, like wooh .
Yeah, im high now (:
&The drink = the bomb ! ♥
(:

I cant believe im gonna say this. i love you.
&no doubt about that yea ! :D
*high*

Oh, did i mention ?
the name of the drink ?
yeahhhh. it's called ..
COKE ! :D :D :d :D
&who was i refering to when i was saying i love you ?
my dearest lappy (;

Im the geekiest loser ever .
but hey, thats me right (:
&Did i ever mention " close to you- carpenters" is superrrrr nice.
Maybe im not over you. or am i just thinking im not over you when i really am? im confused. &this time, i dont think i can consult E ):

Im sorry ):

2009-06-01T20:31:00.002+08:00

Life is really vulnerable . too vulnerable.
Who knows, the next moment you'll lose something important in life.
lose things in a way, that you cant stop it from happening.
it had nothing to do with your choices in life.
it's just, losing something.

I really dont know how to face life,
when one day the same thing happen to me.
or a similar situation. i dont know whether i'll be able to even get on with life.
i really dont know,what will i do then.

I guess even then, E wouldnt be able to help me fully get on with life.
E:I think, that is something too much to handle i guess ? &moving on with life for that case, would completely be on myself.

Im sorry. im really very sorry ):

Owned (:

2009-06-01T18:50:00.002+08:00

Chinese was unexpected (:
I love this paper, & shit if i was careless with it.
it was really really, easy. maybe because i studied the correct thing. hah !
E:lucky eh ? (;

I love rehearsals with sec4s (:
They'll do stupid things and we'll all laugh like mad. :D :D :D
Gonna bring cam during one of the rehearsals and camwhore like mad.
omg, im taking picture of changhee's face!
Always cant see his eye. hahahaha !

&yeahman! im gonna watch movies tonight ! :D
Im some dumbass slacker . tsk tsk *shake head*
&I just realised, that the movie Daredevil looks nice.
im superrrrr slow. \:

O levels

2009-05-31T20:24:00.002+08:00

Im hopelessly nervous now.
keeping my fingers crossed and hope the question is something i know of.
\:
everytime i look at the letter that i wrote and was suppose to pass it to you, i couldnt help but to laugh at it. those truths and explanation inside, were nothing but words to you i guess. ohwell, you wont ever get a chance to read it anyway.i was a stepping stone. a small stone to step on. thats all.how am i to know whether the things we did were solely you wanting to spend time with me and be yourself and not you trying to erase your past memories with her ? you told me to trust you. i trusted you in every way possible. but this is how things goes. so wishy washy. well done. when couples have problems, they talk things out. they dont just give up. i take back what ive said, you're still not matured at all. you think you are, you say you are. but the fact is you're not.you're still some immature guy. &man, the third time im falling in love with you again is.. lets say NEVER ? yeah. rome cant be built in a day. this is so true. a person's character cant change overnight. i thought you were really different. i guess, it's the same old childish _ i know of.

That fat-ass (:

2009-05-31T12:42:00.002+08:00

I love making fun of that fat-ass dumbdumb little sister of mine :D
hahaha, &how she never fails to irritate me when im busy.
She's really a good sister to count on when you need some entertainment or you need someone to irritate you :D

ohwell, i havent been much of an elder sister to her anyway.
only recently, like start of the year.
things been working out between me and her.
cause somehow, our immature/childish minds started to mature.
&how TLT started to go more crazy and mad since last december.
man, those baking and gyming and running and madshopping was awesome !
Especially watching the simpson movie :D :D :D :D
We'll laugh our asses off & E knows abit of it. haha !
I think joseph also know how mad we are.
Screaming at the phone whenever he calls and on loudspeaker. :D
*laughs*

TLT gonna bake peanut butter +oreo base cake soon :D
&AMK's fairprice is the funnest place to go man !
SUPER FASCINATING !
E: im not joking eh :D really very fascinating ! :D :D :D
But it's the worst place to go when you're not feeling well or having a headache.
trust me man (:

gonna bring my sister out to eat japanese or fastfood later. (:
&Im starting to think eating a meal with her, is almost like eating a meal with my dad.
Keep talking about money . =,= tsk !
thinking of prata place for breakfast soon.
hmmmmms, needa look at my schedule. \:

I guess June holidays will be as mad as ever.
&damn, i havent find the violin score for mrs ng.
*gasp*ouhohhhhhh. O:

oh&Siying ! (:
Mount faber / MacRitchie ? must try something new this time :P